Count me among the fools who thought aloud that Mikey Lowell could be an offensive casualty in his first full season back from hip surgery, an albatross with a bat, dragging the entire team down. But Scenic has been bringing the noise thus far, hitting .305 and standing second only to Jason Bay in team RBIs. Yesterday he had four hits in the DH spot, giving him seven over the last two games and making him the de facto Papi while the Real McCoy struggles.

Not that yesterday’s win over the Twinkies was all sunshine and handjobs. Despite sixteen hits, we closed the deal with the slimmest of margins over Minnesota, thanks to a ninth inning, two-run homer by Joe Mauer. For a few desperate moments, I was as sick as Brad Penny. But Papelbon sacked up and finished the job. So we could all get back to our drinking.

Tonight, Lowell sits while Ortiz returns to DH (remarkably, it’ll be only the second time Scenic has sat out since the second game of an early season double-header). If we get four hits out of that spot again tonight, dinner’s on me.