File another chapter in the ongoing, ever-baffling tale of Tim Wakefield. Last time out, he gets a “Shawshank Special” from the Anaheim Angels, giving up 11 hits in less than five innings. Last night, he reduces the East-leading Jays to a senior bowling league, allowing a paltry five hits and one run across eight innings, and leaving us to once again simply scratch our heads and salute the Riddle of the Wakey.

Never mind the fact that he’s been our most reliable starter this season, ever notice that he also seems to never age? Since his first game for the Sox back in 1975, he’s been like our own, personal Richard Alpert, strolling calmly from the dugout and either having his ass handed to him or making the opposing team look like they’re swinging bass violins instead of Louisville Sluggers.

One day, he’s unwatchable. The next, he’s unhittable. But this year, he’s become what I didn’t expect him to be–the closest thing to a semi-sure thing we’ve got in our starting rotation.

“I guess I’ve just been that guy,” Wakefield said. “It’s not like I’m trying harder. Knowing the situation, I’m just going out there, and my job as a starter is to go deep in a game and keep us in the game as long as possible. Tonight was one of those nights where I had very good stuff.”

So, behind Wake, we take the first game against the AL East leaders. And tonight, we place our faith in Brad Penny, which isn’t exactly the type of place you want your faith hanging out after dark. But I’m hoping for big things, as I will be in attendance, explaining my Danny Darwin theory to anyone who will listen. Check for updates on Twitter, as I detail my proximity to Heidi Watney.