Jason Bay. Jason Bay. Say it with me. Jason Bay. Better yet, sing it with me. “Jason Bay.” Just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? Guy’s so laid-back, he makes Dan Rather look like David Lee Roth. But that’s cool. Because he prefers to let his bat do the talking. And last night, it said, “Joba, won’t you chew on this,” as it delivered a three-run homer. In the very first inning, no less.

And so it went from there. More positive vibes from Ortiz with a hit and RBI. A fine performance from Commander Kick Ass, who brought out the big pants in the sixth, getting two big outs after allowing the tying and go-ahead runs to second and third. And three innings of scoreless relief from The Monster Island Freedom Fighters, Okajima and Saito.

Folks, this could be the greatest year ever for Yankees watching. I mean, ever since the great role reversal of 2004, when we ended up in their heads for a change, they’ve spent boatloads of cash trying to wrangle themselves a World Series trophy–all to no avail. But this year, they’ve got so much on the line–the highest-priced team ever, an equally expensive new stadium and a still-unproven manager–that the possibility exists for a meltdown of epic proportions. I’m talking the Hindenberg crashing into the Titanic which hits the Lindbergh baby’s crib and slams into the Watergate Hotel.

But we simply don’t know what this summer will bring. So for now, I’m happy just to see the Sox show up for their first-ever series in the Yank’s new park and generally slap ‘em around.

Well played, gents. And we’ll see you back home tonight.