Because today’s game on FOX robs us of precious Watney Time, I suggest printing the photo above (presented courtesy of the good folks at NESN and my camera), placing it close to your flat screen, and allowing Heidi to be a part of the game. You might even choose to blow it up, life-size, and dress it in a thrift-store gown, place it gently in the chair next to you, and gaze longingly into its eyes for hours on end, explaining how the world would be a better place if she’d just run off with you to Ireland and earn a meager but honest living raising sheep or tending bar. Not that I’ve experienced this first hand, mind you. But my cousin Ernie knows a guy whose brother might have.
Anyway, we’ve got sun-streaked skies, eighty-degree goodness, cold beer on tap and the Boston Red Sox taking on the New York Yankees at glorious Fenway Park this afternoon. Commander Kick Ass of the F@#k yeah Brigade vs. AJ Burnett. This is why God put us here, people. The least we can do is enjoy it.
Oh, and here’s The Boss with today’s anthem: