Because today’s game on FOX robs us of precious Watney Time, I suggest printing the photo above (presented courtesy of the good folks at NESN and my camera), placing it close to your flat screen, and allowing Heidi to be a part of the game. You might even choose to blow it up, life-size, and dress it in a thrift-store gown, place it gently in the chair next to you, and gaze longingly into its eyes for hours on end, explaining how the world would be a better place if she’d just run off with you to Ireland and earn a meager but honest living raising sheep or tending bar. Not that I’ve experienced this first hand, mind you. But my cousin Ernie knows a guy whose brother might have.

Anyway, we’ve got sun-streaked skies, eighty-degree goodness, cold beer on tap and the Boston Red Sox taking on the New York Yankees at glorious Fenway Park this afternoon. Commander Kick Ass of the F@#k yeah Brigade vs. AJ Burnett. This is why God put us here, people. The least we can do is enjoy it.

Game thread’s in the comments. Mob justice is on our Facebook page. Updates and inanities come via Twitter.

Oh, and here’s The Boss with today’s anthem: