One of the reasons I hated to see Jools Tavarez leave town was that the guy was just an endless source of material for us blogger types. There was the Manny head-rub. The shoes with Papi’s face on ‘em. The secret desire to be a porn star. And his tendency to field routine grounders and roll them to the first baseman.

Well, the man may be gone, but he’s not forgotten. And in today’s Washington Post, he remarkably compares signing with the Nationals to beer goggling:

“Why did I sign with the Nationals?” Tavárez said on Sunday. “When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me.”

Cut. Print. Brilliant.

Thanks to Ross for the tip.