July 1st and the Tampa Bay Rays not only lead the Red Sox by a game-and-a-half in the AL East, they own the best record in baseball. What next – flying machines and moving pictures? There are a lot of things I thought I’d see in my lifetime before the Rays were contending this late in a season. To name a few:

The colonization of Neptune

The “Red and Denton Musical Variety Hour” syndicated worldwide

Free gas day at all Exxon stations

Butterfingers added as the sixth major food group

Rachel McAdams staring lovingly across a candlelit dinner table at me

Johnny Pesky given an atomic wedgie and hung unceremoniously from a locker door…wait, that one might actually happen…

Tonight we look to the Wake to stop the madness.