Or, where’s the bats? After seven straight home wins, the Red Sox ventured out on the road and forgot how to hit a baseball. Seven base hits and three runs scored in the first two games of the series against Oakland. That adds up to two losses, last night’s spoiling a solid outing by Josh Beckett. Time to use the lumber, boys, no pride in getting swept by the A’s.

Nick Cafardo tells us that Justin Duchscherer joked around before last night’s game about “pulling a Lester” against the Sox:

“It’s funny, when I came in today Donnie Murphy and I are always giving each other tough-guy looks. I said to him, ‘You’d better not look at me like that.’ Seriously, I said this just joking, ‘Those guys over there don’t want to face me today because I’m gonna pull a Lester on them.’ Then after six, I’m like, ‘Oh, my God!’ It was coincidental, but funny at the same time.”

Ortiz finally managed a single in the seventh, accounting for Boston’s only hit of the game, but enough to break up the bid for a no-no. Duchscherer was a former Red Sox minor-leaguer traded to the Rangers in 2001 for none other than Doug Mirabelli. That man haunts my dreams.

Speaking of pulling a Lester, Mr. No Hitter takes the hill tonight against Joe Blanton. Hopefully the bats arrive in time to give him some run support.