Yesterday was a co-worker’s birthday. And someone at the office got the bright idea to take said co-worker out after work. And somehow, this idea devolved into a scenario that found me trapped like a rat last night in Warren, Rhode Island, of all places. Even worse, it found me playing chauffeur to a coupla older fellow workers who hit the happy juice a little too hard. Carting a couple fifty year old dudes’ asses across state lines on a Friday night? Not exactly a sign that I’m living the high life, folks.
So I missed pretty much all of last night’s Sox game (including Lugo’s league-leading eleventh error!). But even worse–far, far worse, in fact–was what I missed before the game, when NESN combined the unstoppable awesomeness of Amalie Benjamin with the mind-altering pulchritude of Heidi Watney to create the World’s! Greatest! Pre-Game! Show! Ever!
Amalie and Heidi together? Holding microphones and looking unquestionably hot in the otherwise dry air of the Metrodome? Man, it’s just like a dream I’ve had at least sixteen times over the past four days, only without the latex, midgets and chloroform.
If I had known that I missed this must-see-TV last night, you can bet I would have shivved those two co-workers as they lay passed out in my car. As it is, I only rolled them out at the waterfront, minus their wallets and watches, of course.
Still, it’s nice to know that my Amalie and Heidi obsessions are widely-known. Ian, who took the majestic screenshot above, posted his concerns over my ability to absorb that much awesome in one sitting, and a number of “did you see them together?” e-mails flooded my inbox.
I can only hope that this was just the first of many Benj-Watney pairings that NESN has planned for us. As a precautionary measure, I’ll be sure to up my daily supply of vitamin E. And cancel all my pre-game plans.