A 1:35pm game today, so start workin’ on those get-out-of-the-office-early excuses. After all, you might see Matsuzaka go to 8-0, the Sox run their streak to seven games and Manny–who you know is due to go apeshit nutty with the bat any day now–clock home runs 499 and 500.

Here’s the thing: Find a lacky or underling in the office, someone who’s “in on it” with you (good-looking girls or people who like to pick up tabs work equally well here). Run up to said person around 1:00 screaming about “the Johnson report” and how “it should have gone out this morning.” Grab your co-worker and dash down the hall, yelling how “there’s still time to salvage this thing.” Beeline to the Cask. Order up a round. Enjoy the game. Oh, and give a call to the office a few hours later, explaining how you saved the day. And that Johnson is happy.