a) Because he knows, deep down inside, the charges will be dropped.

b) Because it’s Valentine’s Day. And when your heart is filled with love, it’s impossible to keep it to yourself.

c) Because his contributions last season — 134.7 innings, at least two ridiculously entertaining incidents of rolling the ball to Youk on a play at first, and keeping his name out of the local paper’s Police Blotter — aren’t being overlooked by Sox pitching coach John Farrell, who considers Jools a prime contender for the fifth starting spot.

d) Because of that thing he did with your sisters.