You knew this already, but I’ll say it again: Jonathan Papelbon needs to be mic’ed 24/7, so that everything that falls from his lips is available to the unwashed masses. And here are your proof sources:
On the Sox’ opening day in Japan: “I’m not too excited about going to Japan, to be totally honest with you. I love my Japanese teammates and I love Japan — let me say that, too. I’m not much of a traveler. I’m kind of a homebody; I like to stick to America. Hopefully, they have a McDonald’s. We should be good.”
On expanding his dance repertoire: “Last year after we won it, I was in a hotel room partying, and Ortiz was there trying to show me how to do the breakdance. And he fell over, and he didn’t know what he was doing. Either that or he was just too drunk. I don’t know.”
On his plan to train like a starter but work as a closer: “I’m going to stick to closing, man.”
On his status as World Series champion in his hometown: “Back home in Mississippi, a lot more people notice me. They give me a lot of (expletive). . . . I have to come up with something new, man. But I might come up with something new. Stay tuned.”
On the Red Sox’ 2008 chances: “If we’re not the team to beat, I’d like to know who is.”
That last one is sheer brilliance. In fact, I think a great promo ad for NESN’s 2008 Sox schedule would be Papelbon, wearing the goggles he’s sporting in the screencap above and a cigar stuck firmly between his teeth, exclaiming, “If we’re not the team to beat, I’d like to know who the f@#k is.”
Can you hear that? Cause I can.
Baseball’s comin’, folks. Be prepared.