When Julian Tavarez showed up at camp and was told he might have a shot at the fifth rotation spot, it was news to him. You see, Our Man Jools wasn’t hip to shoulder-gate because, as Rob Bradford explains in today’s Herald, the dude doesn’t read newspapers when he’s on break.
“Just today,” said Tavarez when asked when he heard of Schilling’s injury. “I saw him and I asked somebody what was going on. I don’t read the newspapers in the offseason.”
And that news ultimately led to yet another surprise for the 34-year-old.
“I come to spring training and I say, ‘Hello. Good morning. How are things going?’ And they said, ‘You have a chance to be No. 5 in the rotation,’ ” Tavarez said. “I wasn’t happy Schilling is hurt. Schilling is a good man and I’m sad that Schilling is not healthy. We’re going to hold a spot until he comes back.”
Apparently he doesn’t watch ESPN or check the web or talk to any teammates who might have relayed the news either, but I think this media-free existence is just another interesting facet to the Magic of Jools. And if he’s bullshitting, well… I’d find that even more fascinating.
Of course, the best thing about not reading newspapers? More time for porno.