I know this space is generally reserved for all baseball all the time, and there is a blockbuster deal in the works with Johan Santana, but this was too good to pass up. There is a team in Boston not named the Red Sox or the Patriots. They play basketball and they are pretty good. Last night, they dismantled the Knicks Patriot-style, in yet another Boston over New York triumph. When the dust settled, the final score was 104 to 59. No typo, 59 points by the hapless followers of Isaiah...Thomas that is. But that wasn't the best part. Kevin Garnet taking it to Craig Sager in the post-game interview is a classic. Enjoy.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled baseball talk.

Of all the accolades and awards the members of the Red Sox have received, this could be the most impressive of the lot. Jon Lester is the 2007 recipient of the Tony Conigliaro Award for overcoming adversity. Lester has made it clear he wants to be known for his pitching, not for his battle with cancer, but he certainly fits the definition of the award:

"overcome adversity through the attributes of spirit, determination, and courage that were trademarks of Tony C."

Lester posed with the plaque at Fenway yesterday and spoke about the award.

Though Jon Lester acknowledged he isn't too knowledgeable about Tony Conigliaro, that didn't mean he was any less honored to receive the award named for the late Red Sox outfielder. Especially when Lester learned the names of some of the past recipients: Jim Abbott, Bo Jackson, not to mention teammate Mike Lowell.

And yes, the story in the Globe was written by Amalie Benjamin. For legal reasons I can't go in to, Red was not allowed to post about it.

Remember those old commercials for EF Hutton that said, "When Hutton speaks, people listen"? I'm the same way about David Ortiz. Guy makes any kind of statement, whether it's post-game, pre-game or during a dedication ceremony for a new ferris wheel, I wanna know about it. Yesterday, he spoke of his knee surgery. And it went something like this:

“I think I will be training and running at full speed by January,” Ortiz told the Associated Press from the Dominican Republic. “It was a simple operation.”

He also added this bit on SteroidsGate:

"It's like they've placed that issue on the same level as [the war in] Iraq," Ortiz said. "It doesn't make sense to hear people talk more about whether Barry Bonds used steroids than about people dying in Iraq."

Meanwhile, today's Herald tells us that the Sox are stepping up their pursuit of Santana, but trying to get Minnesota to bite for Coco instead of Jacoby. See, this would be so much easier if we were talking about Carlos Santana; I think a package deal of Joe Perry and one of the Dropkick Murphys would suffice. Yeah, for the blistering guitar solos we'd get to accompany the nightly playings of "Sweet Caroline", I'd do that deal in a heartbeat. If they pressed, I'd throw in Dicky Barrett from the Mighty Mighty Bosstones and the girl from Til Tuesday. Even better, maybe one of the Cars. They can have Ric Ocasek. Just don't f@#k with Ellsbury, man.

I think I was one of the few people who had no problem whatsoever with Ben Affleck being a fixture in those Sox-dugout-sidecar seats during the 2004 season. For one thing, the dude typically brought Jennifer Garner with him -- always good for bonus points. For another, unlike a lot of these celebs who wander into the ballpark like they got lost on the way to Ruth's Chris Steak House, the guy seemed every bit the beer-pounding, fist-pumping, Posada-taunting nutjob that I become when I watch the Sox. Only, of course, he's got millions and has seen J-Lo naked. But still.

This season, his cohort, Matt Damon, has been carrying the banner. First there was that now-classic appearance in a Sox jersey on Letterman. Then the gig narrating the Sox' World Series DVDs. Now a most excellent interview with Edes in today's Globe, in which the actor reveals who he'd play in the movie version of the 2007 season:

"I guess [Dustin] Pedroia," he said. "What I love about him is how he gives everything he's got, on every play, every swing."

Damon also details the lengths he went to in order to see the 2004 ALCS while filming Syriana in Europe:

"There were a number of nights I sat up all night watching games," he said. "The games started at 2. When we beat the Yankees in Game 7, I was in Geneva watching MLB.com on literally an inch-and-a-half computer screen from 2 to 7 in the morning. Then I went to work."

But there was no way he was sticking around in Switzerland for the Series.

"[George] Clooney was the producer," Damon said. "I'd never missed a rehearsal or anything, but I called him and said, 'I'm sorry, but I can't be here. You're going to have to make plans to shoot some other stuff.'

"He said, 'I already have.'

"I just managed to get back. I watched the games from my living room. I got home during the first game, and when we won, I knew I couldn't leave that spot. I watched by myself."

Telling George Clooney, "screw you, I'm watching the Red Sox?" Nicely done, guy. Also, it's nice to know I wasn't the only dude calling in sick during that fateful stretch.

Meanwhile, the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants has made its pitch to Johann Santana. Let the games begin!

As if you needed another reason to pick up a copy of the 2007 Red Sox World Series DVD set:

The eight-disc "Collector's Edition" set includes the uncut broadcasts of all four Series games with a customizable audio option that allows you to bump Fox's Tim McCarver for Joe Castiglione or even the Rockies' broadcast team.

Okay, so it's not quite my dream of HazelVision, which digitally replaces everyone in the stands with Hazel Mae, but it's certainly an idea we can all appreciate.

Just when the Hot Stove cools down a bit, we are saved. Anyone checking this out?

The Citi Performing Arts Center Wang Theatre in Boston will host a screening of the official "2007 World Series Film: Rockies vs. Red Sox" this Monday, Nov. 26.

Tickets are available to the public through MLB.com/redsox.com and by phone at the Wang Theatre box office (800-447-7400).

The film, which will later be sold as a DVD, features 75 minutes of main program footage and 45 minutes of bonus footage, according to a press release from the Red Sox. The film includes "unique game action footage, exclusive sound via wireless
microphones, and in-depth, one-on-one interviews with Red Sox players, coaches and team personnel," according to the release. It is narrated by Matt Damon.

Oh yeah, that's a Papelbon action figure pictured above.

I don't get to read Curt's blog as often as I'd like to, but last night, fueled by left over turkey and about 3 liters of Miller High Life, I started shuffling through the past month's worth of pages. Lots of cool stuff that folks have already been mentioning in the comments section for some time now, like the thank you notes to Scenic Lowell. But the one thing that caught my eye was this bit from Tuesday:

FWIW anyone out there know Nile Rogers? I am going to be meeting him in the coming weeks as we talk about a partnership going forward. This guy is truly a rock star of significant proportions. I’ve been able to do some reasearch and his resume and accomplishments are off the charts. He’s done some fantastic work in and out of the industry and the thought that he’ll help drive the audio portion of this IP is pretty exciting!

Curt and Nile Rodgers in the same room? I don't think my head can even wrap itself around the logistics of cool that will be generated by this unholy alliance. I was aware of Rodgers' work with Chic and his lengthy production credits, but never knew he was doing video game soundtracks (which a quick visit to his website reveals).

So Rodgers can now say he's worked with Mick Jagger, Madonna, David Bowie, David Lee Roth, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton... and Curt Schilling. Sweet.

Torii Hunter -- someone I always wanted to see in a Sox uni, patrolling centerfield -- is heading to Anaheim. As a bonus, he also does kids' parties:



Speaking of Twins, with a Beckett-Santana-Matsuzaka-Schilling-Wakefield rotation, would you even bother playing out the season, or just crank up the Rolling Rally in mid-April?

That sound you hear is Christmas jumping the shark. Again.

Major League Baseball Properties and MLB Advanced Media announced Monday that an exclusive auction of game-used and autographed items from this past postseason will begin on Friday. The auction will run until Dec. 7, and it will feature more than 50 extraordinary items that will make historic keepsakes, including:

One of the cans of bug spray used in the Yankees dugout during Game 2 of the American League Division Series in Cleveland. Remember Joba Chamberlain trying to deal with those pests on the mound? This figures to be a huge conversation piece, and probably not something you want to spray on that next camping trip.

But it's not all gloom and doom. There's also this:

A Manny Ramirez signed base and ball from the World Series, signed Jason Varitek jerseys and other items used and then autographed by the world champion Red Sox. You'll even be able to find hand warmers used in the Red Sox dugout during the bitterly cold Game 3 of the World Series at Coors Field in Denver, where Boston survived a late Matt Holliday three-run homer on its way to the sweep.

Also: Here's Thanksgiving with the Aqua Teens. Enjoy.


View this on LiveDigital

Red Sox Nation really should give thanks. It all started at this time back in '03 at Schill's house...

...for a quick Tina C fix.












Okay, that'll hold me for at least another month.

Also: In my mind, the holy trinity of sci-fi films is Planet of the Apes, Blade Runner and Escape from New York. Tim Burton re-made POA into a horrible mess of gruesome masks, special effects and Markie-Mark Wahlberg. Then someone somewhere decided to re-do Escape with Gerard Butler as Snake Plissken. So far, though, the only person who's messed with Blade Runner is Ridley Scott, the original director, himself. He's just released the Final Cut -- at my count is the fourth or fifth version of the film floating around -- which is currently at the Coolidge Corner theatre and scheduled for DVD release next month. If you haven't seen it on the big screen, you owe it to yourself. Here's the trailer:

So Mike Lowell's staying and I couldn't be happier because now I can relax and enjoy Thanksgiving dinner without sticking a fork in someone's neck during a heated argument about Miguel Cabrera. As always, Rob Bradford puts it best:

Curt Schilling wanted to be here, so he stayed. Plain and simple.

“If we all had to play for free and you could play anywhere you wanted to, this would be the place I would pick,” Schilling said shortly after re-signing.

It is the kind of notion that has lived in Lowell’s shadow ever since he hopped off a Duck Boat some 21 days ago. And because of it, the third baseman appears to be following the pitcher’s lead.

Lowell reportedly turned away from a four-year, $50 million deal offered by the Philadelphia Phillies to set himself up for yesterday’s three-year, $37.5 million revelation from the Red Sox. And there most likely would have been more offerings on the horizon, if the 33-year-old chose to ignore the Sox-imposed deadline to accept or reject their bid.

While offers came and went, and came again, there was one motivation that superseded all others: He wanted to stay.

Between this and the Schilling signing in 2003, Thanksgiving should be some sort of official Red Sox holiday. Imma start up the paperwork on that.

And speaking of "official" Red Sox stuff, here's a question: Who's the official house band of the Red Sox? Sure, a better question is "who gives a f@#k?", but these are the things that keep my mind occupied through the offseason, so let me run with it.

Some folks would probably say it's the Standells, since "Dirty Water" is the universal code among Sox fans for "we just kicked somebody's arse." Other might say The Dropkick Murphys, since they spent so much time with the team during the post-championship celebrations, they almost deserved their own clubhouse lockers.

But in my mind, it's Boston's own Buffalo Tom. Think about it: WEEI's been using the band's "See To Me" and "Sodajerk" and other songs as bumpers during their Sox broadcasts for years now. Theo's an unofficial member, playing with BT during the annual Hot Stove Cool Music concerts. Lead singer Bill Janovitz is an official Friend of The GAMMONS (a club I've been trying to crack for years to no avail). And the band's fortunes -- so, so good yet never able to catch mainstream success even as crap parades like The Goo Goo Dolls sell out stadiums -- seemed to mirror those of the pre-2004 Sox, at least in my twisted mind.

Anyway, here's a video for a song off Buffalo Tom's latest disc. I think you'll like it.



Happy Day Before Thanksgiving.

"How cool is that? Leaving years and dollars on the table to come back here for three more years, good stuff," Schilling wrote on his blog, 38pitches.com. "Congrats to Mike and I've already spoken with a few guys on the team and suffice to say we're all" ecstatic.*

*The quote above comes from Boston.com quoting this post on Curt's 38pitches.com. But the Boston.com folks didn't wrap the quotes around "ecstatic" because Curt spelled it as "ectstatic" on his post. C'mon, people... Curt Schilling's in the business of kicking ass, taking names, and shutting up 50,000 people at Yankee Stadium. He can spell the word however the f@#k he wants in my book.

Here's a bit of that interview Curt did on Dennis Miller's Sports Unfiltered show on Versus -- yet another channel you're paying for and probably didn't even realize you had, like TBN and The Pajamas Network. Yeah, it's been around for a while (it took place the day he re-upped with the Sox), but there's still some laughs to be had... while we wait for any word on the Mike Lowell front.



You can see the whole thing over at Centerfield. Myself, I've been a Miller fan ever since he dropped a Beneath the Planet of the Apes reference during an HBO special.

Am I the only person in the country that didn't know Jacoby Ellsbury was a Native American? How did I miss that? Anyway, great story on Boston.com about Ellsbury's return to his reservation.

Ellsbury wiped away a tear as Madras Mayor Jason Hale proclaimed it Jacoby Ellsbury Day. He recalled being so nervous he almost threw up driving to the ballpark for his first start for the Red Sox, and pitcher Josh Beckett advising him, "Just don't screw it up."

Classic Beckett. After reading that, I stumbled upon an older story on a site called Indian Country:

Jacoby is also a hero to the local community, said Leona A. Ike, a member of the Warm Springs tribes. ''

At our local 150th celebration of sovereignty, the Treaty of 1855, we had a pow wow event called Pi-Ume-Sha. He showed up there with his family and the pow wow gave him an Honor Dance. Our elders shared with him that he is not only a role model for his tribe, but for all tribal children and people and we are all so proud of his accomplishments. He made the community feel so special. That is the kind of man this young man is - so respectful,'' Ike said.

This is the stuff that gets me through the off-season.

Mike Lowell was the grand marshal, will and holly of the Dreams Come True parade at Walt Disney World on Friday. And while Scenic Lowell got his teacup on, Larry Lucchino sent him a secret coded message:

"I'm not going to say anything, except to say we want him back. We very much want Mike Lowell to know, and want the fans to know, that we're endeavoring to sign him because we want him back. We'd like to see him at third base on Opening Day next year receiving his World Series ring."

Oh, and while the photo of Lowell and his kids on the ride is like a sugar-filled nuclear bomb of cuteness, it reminded me of the time Disney got a taste of the badassery that was Pedro and Papi after the 2004 World Series:

Aspiring Broadway types, Riverdance wannabes, epileptics and the curious take note: The shops at Mansfield Crossing will be hosting a "Papelbon Dance Contest" today from 12:30pm to 1:30pm near the Sports Authority store (I assume in some kind of tent, but what do I know?). If this was being held within a 2-mile radius of Kenmore, the place'd be packed with half-sloshed college chicks; alas, that far out on the 495 belt, the best you'll do is probably some 40-something moms coaching their 6-year olds to "dance like that Red Sox guy." Jim Lonborg will also be there from 2-3pm to sign autographs. For the time-machine-enabled, Manny Delcarmen was there yesterday from 5-7pm.

Asterisk This!: Barry Bonds could face up to 30 years in prison if he is convicted of perjury charges. The whole story is here:

Without detailing the evidence they plan to present, justice officials for the first time declared that Bonds has tested positive for anabolic steroids and other performance-enhancing substances.
That could lead to Bonds being stripped of the US home run milestone he set earlier this year, although Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig gave no hint about that prospect in a statement.
"I take this indictment very seriously and will follow its progress closely," Selig said. "It is important that the facts regarding steroid use in baseball be known."

Bud Selig is funny. How does he stand upright without the benefit of a spine? I wonder how Barry will sleep at night in one of those prison-issue cots and without his giant pillow.

The Next Home Run King?: While the details of the A-Rod mega-deal are still being worked out, the NY Times is reporting there may be an additional bonus in the already-insane offer:

The sides are discussing a marketing plan in which Rodriguez, 32, would benefit financially as he passes home run benchmarks in the coming seasons. He has 518 home runs and is 17th on the career list. If he passes Babe Ruth, who
had 714 homers, and Hank Aaron, who had 755, he would trail only Barry Bonds, who has 762.
“These are not incentive bonuses, For lack of a better term, they really are historic-achievement bonuses.
It’s a horse of a different color.”

Glad to see Hank and A-Rod kissed and made up. The real winner in this deal is Texas.

Chin Music: Wouldn't both men look better if Youk had part of his chin surgically removed and donated it to Jorge Posada?

The Yankees have been a seemingly endless source of comedy for me for the last couple years, but this latest news of A-Rod's return to New York -- to the tune of 10 years at $275 mill -- is something even Norman Lear would be hard-pressed to top. According to today's Post, The Ego That Walked is begging the Yanks to take him back:

Rodriguez made the short trip from Orlando to Tampa yesterday and met with the Steinbrenner family and Yankees officials at Legends Field where, according to Hank Steinbrenner, the soon-to-be-named AL MVP informed the club he wants No. 13 back.

“Alex, at this point, wants to be a Yankee and is willing to make sacrifices," Steinbrenner said. “Apparently he has had a change of heart so we will see. He reached out to us through a third party and it appears he wants to be a Yankee."

But it doesn't stop there. As reported pretty much everywhere, they still want Scenic Lowell, but as their first baseman:

A Yankees official confirmed yesterday the club is talking to the World Series MVP about moving from third to first and playing for the team he broke into professional baseball with.

Until Tuesday, the world champion Red Sox had Lowell, 34 in February, to themselves regarding financial discussions. Immediately following the Red Sox four-game sweep of the Rockies, Lowell spoke of wanting to stay in Boston. However, the Yankees let him know they were willing to talk to him even Rodriguez returned. Now, with Rodriguez close to coming back, the Yankees want Lowell to play first base.

Lowell, who broke into the big leagues by playing seven games for the 1998 Yankees, has never played first base. He has Gold Glove skills at third, but the Yankees aren't worried about him making the move.

“All I can say at this time is that the Yankees have engaged us," said Lowell's agent, Seth Levinson.

Yep, I totally expect Mr. Roper to come barging through that door at any minute.

Boston gets publicity for having a guy shave his goatee for charity. Baltimore gets publicity for having a guy that jerks off in every hotel room he stays at. This is just too good to be true. Exactly what we need during the off-season when A-Rod versus Lowell talk starts to get old. Aside from his now-infamous-though-disputed "Baltimore is horseshit" statements, Aubrey Huff also got down and dirty with Bubba the Love Sponge (and I feel dirty just typing that) about his sex life on the road...with himself.

Most of the transcript can be found here, but the gist of it is, the Louisville Slugger isn't the only bat Huff handles on a regular basis:

Bubba: “Now Aubrey, do you jack off a lot on the road, like when you’re not
with your wife.”

Huff: “It’s all I do. It’s all I do. You guys have no idea how much downtime there is in baseball. You wake up from a hangover about 1 o’clock.”

Producer shouts: “In the afternoon?”

Huff: “Oh, yeah! Lemme tell you this. When you are hung over, how
horny are you? I’m horny, when I’m hungover, I’m horny. So I’m just gonna
beat off. And that’s all I do.”

As if that wasn't Nobel Peace Prize worthy, Huff goes on:

Huff: “No, that’s my own gig. When you check out and she (the hotel
clerk) says, $34.99 and she looks at you as you’re checking out: ‘Ahh, you beat
the shit outta it, didn’t ya?’ ‘Yeah, pretty much! Yeah, I jacked the
fucking shit outta it!’ ”

Bubba: “So they did the room and you do the incidentals.”

Huff: “Yeah, incidentals are all us, which include porn. And jacking
off.”

Incidentals. Gotta love it.

People of Boston: So insatiable is our hunger for all things Red Sox that the simple act of our first baseman gettin' a shave for charity had people packed around the Cask last night, with live simulcasts being projected on big-ass TV screens out in the street. It is sick and glorious all at once, and the only reason I didn't show up myself is that my boss had me chained to a stack of ad copy needing rewrites (code for: "I was watching porno.")

Personally, seeing Youk sans beard is like seeing Trot Nixon in a tux; somehow, it doesn't compute. I was happy to read at the end of the Herald's bit that Youk plans on growing back Ol' Dirty, because I think there's a definite Samson vibe going on there. That beard helped get us to the promised land, folks. We can't just let it disappear in a blur of camera flashes and hot blonde stylists.


Oh, and for those keeping score:

Josh Beckett:
World Series ring (to add to the one he got with Florida)
ALCS MVP Award
Face on a box of Wheaties
Picture on the cover of SI's World Series Issue
The ability to see Leeann Tweeden on TV and turn to his buddies and say, "Yeah, I hit that."

CC Sabathia:
2007 AL Cy Young
Knowledge that his name, when spoken, means "yes, yes" in Spanish

Edge: Commander Kick-Ass.

(Top photo of Youk from the Boston Herald; bottom photo from MLB.com.)

Josh Beckett won't be joining the list of Red Sox players taking home awards this season. The BBWAA voted C.C. Sabathia as the 2007 Cy Young Award winner. Beckett finished a somewhat distant (119-86) second.

Sabathia overshadowed Beckett during the regular season in almost all pitching categories: ERA, strike outs, starts, innings pitched, complete games, and fewer walks. Beckett is the only pitcher to win 20 games in the past two seasons, but this distinction wasn't enough to tip the votes in his favor.

Had the voting included the post-season, there is no doubt this would have gone differently. Captain Kickass beat Sabathia twice in the ALCS, and went 4-0 with a 1.20 ERA. He struck out 35 and walked two in his four starts. Sabathia was 1-2 in the post-season with an 8.80 ERA.

Back to the Lowell watch...

Hey, look. Here comes Dustin.


::Throws opens door, visibly staggering:: Guess who's home, bitches?


Looks like Little Dustin's home to me. How 'bout you, Hazel?


Yup. That's definitely the mighty midget.


Wrong and wrong. The Rookie of the Year is home. You got that, chief? Rookie of the motherf@#king Year! Sing it with me! ::starts stumbling into wall, trying to dance::


That's awfully impressive, roomie. I gotta say.


Your mom must be so proud of you.


I think we should celebrate. I'll make Dustin's favorite cookies and we'll crack open the chocolate milk and--


No, no, no. See, I've been taking crap from you three all season long. But not tonight. This is my party, jack, and I'm gonna party with my own special friends. Come on in, ladies.


::stumbling in, eyes crossed:: where's the coke?


Now that's what I'm talkin' about.


Are you going to introduce us to your friends?


No, in fact, I am not. Instead, I'm taking my new friends into my bedroom where we're gonna bang like some giant-ass cymbals in the Macy's parade, after which I will smoke several cigars, finish off the beer and don my celebratory Rookie of the Year toga.


Dustin, where's the trophy? Can we see the trophy? Pleeeez?


Ah, yes. The Rookie of the Year trophy. It's quite something to behold, ladies. Lemme see. Where'd I put it... um...


Actually, Dustin, you left the trophy in the driveway last night, so we did you a favor and put it someplace safe.


And where would that be?


::Points to the top shelf of a six-foot bookcase::


::sighs:: You bastards.


Need a boost, roomie?

::A few moments later, at the police station::


Youkilis! Lowell! Stop frosting the comforter* and get to work! Some little guy just stuffed a trophy up his roommate's ass and I want you jokers on the case!


::Puts down contract offer from the Yankees he was examining:: Little guy? Trophy? Sounds like our boy Dustin won Rookie of the Year!


Woo-hoo! Time to get shit-tay!


Indeed.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Full Disclosure: A few years back, when I was living the dream of a ridiculously underpaid freelance writer (as opposed to my current status as a ridiculously underpaid full-time marketing professional), I interviewed Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla for a story about The Man Show. At one point in the interview, Carolla stopped his train of thought and noted that he "just came up with a great metaphor for jackin' off: frosting the comforter." He and Kimmel then just started riffing on that for a couple minutes and the interview spiraled into unchained hilarity. I can take no credit for this genius line; it's all Carolla's.

The good times just keep coming. The BBWAA announced Dustin Pedroia as the 2007 Rookie of the Year. Little Pedro hit .317 with 8 home runs and 50 RBI. As we mentioned yesterday, he did a lot of that with a broken bone in his left hand.

It is almost gluttonous to be a Boston fan right now. The World Series, a Gold Glove for Youk, today's good news, and hopefully one more announcement tomorrow for Mr. Beckett. And both the Patriots and Celtics are undefeated.

Oh, and watching Adam gag on a chip shot field goal last night wasn't bad either.

According to New York Newsday, the Yanks are conceding Scenic Lowell to the Red Sox.

Mike Lowell's return to the Red Sox appears inevitable, and Yankees general manager Brian Cashman is resigned to the fact that Alex Rodriguez's replacement will have to come via the trade market.

Lowell, the 2007 World Series Most Valuable Player, could re-sign with the Red Sox before Tuesday, when free agents can begin negotiating with other clubs. The two sides had differed in number of years on the contract, but it's believed they've found common ground there. Lowell likely will sign a deal that guarantees him three years. "I personally believe the player's preference would be to stay in Boston," Cashman said. "I believe that's probably accurate."

Cashman has been in regular contact with Lowell's agents, Sam and Seth Levinson, because the brothers also represent Yankees free agent Jorge Posada.

Dunno about you, but despite this positioning, I still can't believe the Yanks aren't working a full-court press for Lowell, even if it's being done on the down-low, complete with coded messages, secret handshakes, decoder rings and at least one guy named "Salvatore." I just never trust 'em, especially after that one game playoff in '78, when the Yanks secretly removed Sox skipper Don Zimmer's brain and replaced it with a Table Talk pie.

Closer to home, Eric Wilbur knows there's some risk in signing Lowell, but when compared to that other available third baseman, well...

Still, as much as it seems that the Red Sox may indeed have an interest in re-signing Lowell, it would indeed be an upset in that it’s the kind of deal the team has opted not to give its other aging superstars (Johnny Damon, Pedro Martinez) in the past. Lowell has hit .300 just once in his career (this season), and at the age of 33, doesn’t project to improve offensively. It likely won’t get any better than it did in 2007, and the Red Sox’ long-term forecasts are sure to show that. Unless you’re a franchise catcher, guys who are going to be 34 when the next season starts aren’t likely to get a $60 million deal from this regime.

On the other hand, what’s $60 million when your next-best free agent option is going to be seeking somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 years and $300 million?

And as the final moments tick away in our exclusive window of negotiation, Rob Bradford underlines the bottom line:

Following yesterday’s talks, both sides understand that Lowell will certainly be able to garner more money from teams such as the New York Yankees, Los Angeles Dodgers, Philadelphia Phillies or Los Angeles Angels than he would from the Red Sox.

The question that continues to linger is how much the 33-year-old third baseman is willing to leave on the table in order to remain with the Sox.

Where will it all end? Who will sign on the line that is dotted when the smoke clears and the last beer has been sucked down? Stay tuned.

Also, fans of Kevin Youkilis and fans of watching guys shaving should make their way to the Cask n' Flagon tomorrow at 5:00pm, where Youk will shave off his signature goatee for charity. As if you have anything better to do...

Dustin Pedroia, already a fan favorite, upped his street cred a few notches this weekend. Pedroia revealed he played the last two months of the season with a broken bone in his left hand. He had surgery on it last week and is in a soft cast until the end of the month. From Rob Bradford:

“Some days I would wake up and it would be hard to grip a bat,” Pedroia said. “I changed my grip a little bit on the bat and went from there. It was just one of those things you know you have to take care of after the season, but you have to play through."

The surgery was performed by Dr. Donald Sheridan in Scottsdale, Ariz. According to Pedroia, when Sheridan went in to remove the bone it crumbled, suggesting more activity might have led to further complications.

Welcome to the rank of badass, Dustin. Reason number 267,943 to love this team.

For the fourth consecutive year, our own Big Papi was named to the Silver Slugger team as DH. The award is for the top offensive players at each position and is decided by a vote by managers and coaches. The rest of the AL winners:

1B—Carlos Pena, Tampa Bay (1st award)
2B—Placido Polanco, Detroit (1st award)
3B—Alex Rodriguez, New York (9th award)
SS—Derek Jeter, New York (2nd award)
OF—Magglio Ordonez, Detroit (3rd award)
OF—Ichiro Suzuki, Seattle (2nd award)
OF—Vladimir Guerrero, Los Angeles (7th award)
C—Jorge Posada, New York (5th award)
DH—David Ortiz, Boston (4th award)

If they come out with the "Bad Ass on the field, Nice Guy off the field" award, Papi brings that one home too.

Here at Surviving Grady, we've been known to embellish the facts a bit to make our story more interesting. Hell, we just make sh!t up sometimes. But not even my booze-and-kielbasa-polluted mind or the deepest recesses of Red's imaginarium could come up with this.

You may remember there was a big game a few weeks ago? The Red Sox beat the Indians in game seven of the ALCS? Apparently a few local fans got a little, shall we say, "over-exuberant," and ended up spending an evening sobering up and contemplating the mysteries of life in a Boston jail cell.

If I live to be 100 -- and with my meat-and-beer diet, it's not bloody likely -- I don't think I'll ever see a ballgame stranger than game 3 of the 2003 ALCS. This thing had more twists and sub-plots than a Raymond Carver story. First things first, you had Sox vs. Yankees in the playoffs, which is reason enough to booze up and riot. Then you had Pedro vs. Rocket, so I pretty much went into this thing with visions of that similar match-up in the '99 ALCS dancing in my head. But then it all veered off into a mash-up of Karim Garcia [who, for my money, looks like the fat, older brother of The State's Thomas Lennon] getting pegged and threatening Pedro. And that bit where Pedro pointed at Posada then pointed at his head [he claimed he was telling Jorge "he'd remember this" but to the rest of the free world, it looked like "get ready for some extensive dental x-rays, son... yer goin' down."] Then the now classic Zimmer-goes-batsh#t-and-charges-Pedro-not-unlike-The-Rhino-tacking-Spider-Man thing. And Manny taking exception to a high and tight Clemens pitch. And that Jeff Nelson vs. everyone in the bleachers and especially a Fenway groundskeeper thing.

We didn't win the game, or the series. But jeebus was that one for the vaults.

One of my fellow West Roxbury homies just alerted me to this: The Inside Track tells us that Manny Ramirez is once again shilling to the people. Only this time, it's not a grill, it's a Chrysler 300M. And the auction is being handled by West Roxbury Motors.

Check it:

“It’s a fun car,” said West Roxbury Motors’ Jerry Nasif, who is handling the sale of the car for Manny. “It has a lot of custom features, 22-inch wheels, chrome, a custom grill. It was Manny’s personal drive.”

But wait, there’s more!

“The lucky winner will get a trunk full of autographed items, a jersey, bat and ball, four tickets to a future Red Sox game and a meet-and-greet with Manny to talk about the car,” Nasif said.

A meet and greet with Manny to talk about the car?!? Sold! Dudes and dudettes, surely we can generate enough bucks to snag this thing. Kinda like when JJ and his teammates from the basketball team pooled their cash and bought a car on Good Times.

::does the "westie pride" hand salute::

First things first: that slapping of the ball out of Brandon Arronson's hand in 2004? A misunderstanding. A momentary lapse of muscular coordination. I later sat down with the guy for some cheeseburgers and wine so if he can forgive me, I don't see why you can't.

Anyway, I know you're really deadset on having Mike Lowell back. So here's what I propose, just to make it easy on everyone and illustrate how much I'd like to come to Boston: I'll move back to shortstop. I know you've got that Lugo guy there now, but come on; he's a former Devil Ray. It's only a matter of time before the wheels fall off that wagon. Just consider this line-up, people:

Ellsbury
Pedroia
Ortiz
Me (A-Rod)
Manny
Drew
Lowell
Varitek
Youkilis

Is there a pitcher in the free world who'd want to step to that? I could easily see myself belting, oh, about 53 home runs in April alone. And just to further show that I'm a man of the people, I'd lease one of my jets to the MBTA for fan transportation and personally hand out individual fruit pies to the first 500 ticketholders through the gates at every home game.

I know it's all just talk and speculation right now, but if I end up coming to Boston, my word will stand. I'll even grow a beard if that's what it takes. Provided I'm able to.

Also, as a bonus, you get this:


Can you feel the love, people? Because I can.

Kevin Youkilis, who may very well inherit the handle Mazel Tough now that Kapler AKA The Hebrew Hammer is no longer with us, won his first Gold Glove. Also, his beard won the coveted "most likely to frighten young children" award from Highlights Magazine. So Youk gains instant hillbilly cred, while also getting props for his stellar defense at first throughout 2007.

Speaking of beards, the Sox are now apparently turning their attention to Mike Lowell, who says he wants to return to Boston but I can't imagine he wouldn't at least stick a few toes in the free agent waters. The Cap'n issued his two cents to the Providence Journal:

“Mike’s been our staple in our lineup all year,” said Red Sox captain Jason Varitek after the club’s Game Four sweep in Colorado. “He’s come up with big hit after big hit and that’s why he drove in 120 during the regular season.”

Would you like to see him back next season?

“I would love to,” said Varitek. “He plays great defense. He’s a huge part of this team and we would love to see him back in this uniform.”

Amen, brother.

Several sources are reporting the deal is done.

From Newsday.com:

The agreement provides for him to make an additional $5 million in bonuses and match his 2007 salary. The deal is subject to him passing a physical, contains $3 million in performance bonuses based on innings pitched and $2 million based on weight clauses, a person familiar with the negotiations said Tuesday, speaking to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because the team had not yet made an announcement.

Sweet.

The Globe tells us that the Sox are thisclose to bringing back the Magic of Schilling for another season. And, honestly, after immersing myself in repeated viewings of Faith Rewarded, reliving the bloody sock and the full kiss on Pesky's mouth and the toast "to the greatest Red Sox team ever assembled," I couldn't be happier.

Check it, ladies. My roommate's home.


What's up.


Hey, Dustin. How was school today?


School?


Look at all that dirt on his big-boy slacks. He must have been rough-housing at the playground. Were you rough-housing?


The f@#k? I'm twenty-four years old. I'm not in school anymore.


My god, look at that little face. I just want to put him in my pocket book and carry him around.


"Carry me around"? What the f@#k is your problem?


Hey! Watch that language around the ladies, son.


Look, I'm tired of all this "hey there little guy" and "can I cut your meat for you" bullsh#t. I'm a full grown man.


You're right. You're right. We were just having some fun. How 'bout a beer, roomie?


Sure. Yeah. I'll have a beer.


Here ya go. ::hands him a "sippy cup"::


Aw, screw you guys. ::storms off down hall into bedroom and slams door shut::


Wow. He's awfully scrappy.


I blame it on MTV. All those "Li'l Wayne" videos...


::in bedroom, dials phone:: Dad? It's me. Yeah, just wanted to let you know I might come home this weekend. Jacoby's startin' to get on my nerves.


Oh yeah? Well when you win Rookie of the Year, you can tell all those motherf@#kers to kiss your ass. Just hang tough, son.


Heh. Good point, Dad. Good point.

::meanwhile, downstairs::


Sounds like our neighbors upstairs are at it again. That little guy's a real handful.


Hey, f@#k you, princess!

For those who might have missed them, despite the fact that they're pretty much all over YouTube and UncutVideo and your Aunt Hessie's blog, here are Manny's appearance on the Tonight Show and Papi's appearance on Conan O'Brien.

First up is the Leno clip, which is spectacular not only for its veritable Exxon Valdez-like overspill of Manny's goofily ebulliant charm, but also for the closing seconds which show Manny rushing out to shake hands with the Backstreet Boys.



Next, here's the Conan clip, complete with sequined scorpion jacket that is clearly standard issue at The American Institute of Badassery.



If they give out an Emmy for pure, unadulterated awesome, I think you've got to give it to Manny.

I posted this after the 2004 win. Seems like it is worth repeating...

The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America is ruled by it like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again. Oh, people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come.

-James Earl Jones as Terence Mann

The Red Sox are the 2004 World Series Champions. It's been 24 hours and I've said or thought those words a million times since Foulke snared the final out in the ninth, but it still doesn't make sense to me. I've waited so long and now that it's here, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm loving it, hell, I'm probably still in shock, but it still feels so...different? Am I crazy?

Baseball is so much more than a sport or a game, it is a tradition. It is a bond formed between fathers and sons and daughters that lasts a lifetime. It starts with the first game of catch, buying the first glove, the first tee ball game. It is going to the first Red Sox game together. I honestly don't remember my first walk up the ramp, seeing the gem that is Fenway Park for the first time, seeing the Green Monster. But I do know the awestruck expression on each of my daughters' faces when I took them up that ramp for the first time. And that, I will never forget.

The love of baseball is passed down from generation to generation like a sacred family heirloom. It runs through the fabric of our lives, growing stronger as we grow. And at some point, at least for those of us lucky enough to be Red Sox fans, it becomes a passion. We shed the burden of winter each year and are filled with hopes and dreams when we hear that pitchers and catchers are reporting to spring training. We live and die each night with the players on the field during the dog days of summer. When the days begin to shorten and the nights grow cooler, we cling to whatever or whoever we can, telling ourselves that this might be the year. And finally, this is the year.

And when it really started to look like these guys had that something special (for me it was winning Game 5 of the ALCS) that could get it done, who did we turn to? For most people, it was their dad. The man that planted the seed in our hearts that has grown into the love for America's favorite past-time. Go back and read yesterday's comments. Nearly all of them mention calling their dad, or wishing their dad was still around to experience this. The stories were beautiful, thank you all for sharing them with us.

What we witnessed over the past two weeks was historical. But if history has taught us anything, this could very well be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. So enjoy it. Savor it. Squeeze every bit of pleasure that you can out of it. And share it. This is not some guilty pleasure to be coveted in your heart or mind. It is a gift. It is ours to share. I get as much pleasure seeing what this means to others as I did watching it unfold myself. So many people waited a lot longer than I did, suffered a lot more disappointments than I did, and I am so happy to see them get a World Series.

If you haven't already done it, drive over to your dad's. If he lives far away, call him. Talk about the team, the series, what it means to him. I would if I could. My dad listened to every game on the radio when I was a kid. I know that wherever we go when we leave this place, whether it's heaven or a cornfield in Iowa, he listened to this series and he is smiling.

Hey Dad, wanna have a catch?

When I was a kid trick-or-treating, the most I'd score, if I was lucky, was a couple Hershey bars. But these freakin' kids got some V-Tek autographs:

This Halloween, Jason Varitek gave trick-or-treaters something infinitely more valuable than a king-sized Snickers bar. The Red Sox captain sat in a lawn chair at the top on his driveway and handed out autographs, signing baseballs, hats, shirts, pillow cases stuffed with candy, and a green alien glove from a youngster's costume.

"Waban has been good to us and respected our privacy," Varitek said yesterday in an interview at his home. "It was a good opportunity for me to say thanks."

You just know that somewhere, simultaneously, Josh Beckett was sitting on his steps with some cigarettes and a tattoo needle, ready for any kids looking to ink up.

We all know what happened in 2004 with the World Series ball. Could this really be happening again?

Boston.com reports:

"I gave it to Pap [Jonathan Papelbon]," Varitek said yesterday. "It's out of my hands."

Efforts to reach Papelbon - who appeared last night on "The Late Show with David Letterman" - were unsuccessful, but his agent, Sam Levinson, told the Associated Press that the closer has no idea where the ball is.

Sox vice president Charles Steinberg said he knew only what he'd read: that Varitek put the ball in his pocket.

"I guess we'll have another story line as we head into November," Steinberg said. "I don't know where the ball is. I haven't heard anything about it."

Another Sox employee said, "I thought Tek had it. I thought he was
going to give it to the team. Why would he give it to Pap?"

Hey, it's better than talking about A-Rod, right?

The best part about winning the World Series? The inevitable media fall-out that occurs shortly after the last bottle of champagne has been quaffed by Royce Clayton.

Last night was something of a late-night bonanza, with Jonathan Papelbon and Doug Mirabelli -- the latter looking about as comfortable as a guy spending his first evening at Rum & Sodomy State Penitentiary -- hitting QVC to help peddle some Sox goods. Simultaneously, the Bot could be seen on the Late Show, cracking wise with David Letterman. Extra Bases has the video and transcript, and it's a thing of beauty:

Letterman: "What turned that around because it looked like the team from Cleveland was going to prevail? What happened to turn it around?"

Papelbon: "Well, we had Big Papi, aka David Ortiz, the Large Father, whatever you want to call him." (audience laughs)

Letterman: (laughs) "The Large Father."

Papelbon: "Yeah, uh, whatever you want to call him, it all translates, you know. He kind of got us guys together, just no coaches, no media, no nothing like that, and you know, kind of held a team meeting and said, ‘Hey, guys, look, you know,' and this is quote-unquote David Ortiz." (starts to impersonate Ortiz) "He goes, ‘Hey, guys, I've got to tell you some-sing, if you – '" (audience laughs) "'Some-sing. If you wear a Red Sox uniform jersey, you're a bad _____ _____.'" (audience roars with laughter and applause) "So, hey, that's quote-unquote. Sorry about that." (Papelbon smiles, audience still laughs; audience applauds)

Letterman: "Must have had one of my spells, because…"

Papelbon: "And this is actually coming from a guy, um, not very many people know this, but David Ortiz happens to be a huge Bedazzler." (Dave cracks up laughing, audience laughs) "So, yeah, yeah, see like this jacket right here? He couldn't wear this jacket normally, he'd have to put, like, Bedazzle a Lamborghini in the back, or something like that." (audience laughs)

Next up, Manny on the Tonight Show and Papi on Conan O'Brien Friday night. Set TiVos to "stun."