Here at Surviving Grady, we’ve been known to embellish the facts a bit to make our story more interesting. Hell, we just make sh!t up sometimes. But not even my booze-and-kielbasa-polluted mind or the deepest recesses of Red’s imaginarium could come up with this.

You may remember there was a big game a few weeks ago? The Red Sox beat the Indians in game seven of the ALCS? Apparently a few local fans got a little, shall we say, “over-exuberant,” and ended up spending an evening sobering up and contemplating the mysteries of life in a Boston jail cell.

A local judge decided to think outside the box a bit and came up with an extremely creative punishment: write a five-page essay about the experience. Considering most of the perps were college kids, you can’t really expect the next Norman Mailer to emerge from this. More likely, it would be the literary version of the American Idol reject show. has a few excerpts:

One wrote that passing a night in jail made her feel “reduced to a fraction of myself.” Another lamented that “running down to Fenway Park in a craze is only asking for one thing and that is trouble.”

“A diehard Red Sox fan is what I am; this situation will not change that,” Matthew White, 18, wrote in his essay, titled “Farewell Fenway.”

“I had a strong sense of being both violated and handled in an unnecessarily hostile manner,” she wrote.

“I felt a gloom heavier than any load I’ve carried on my back or in my heart.”

“I was angry about the government,” Jauquet said in an interview after the proceeding. “I tried to be radical. It didn’t work out for me.”

Please, someone, find the full versions of these essays. I must have them.