People of Boston: So insatiable is our hunger for all things Red Sox that the simple act of our first baseman gettin’ a shave for charity had people packed around the Cask last night, with live simulcasts being projected on big-ass TV screens out in the street. It is sick and glorious all at once, and the only reason I didn’t show up myself is that my boss had me chained to a stack of ad copy needing rewrites (code for: “I was watching porno.”)
Personally, seeing Youk sans beard is like seeing Trot Nixon in a tux; somehow, it doesn’t compute. I was happy to read at the end of the Herald’s bit that Youk plans on growing back Ol’ Dirty, because I think there’s a definite Samson vibe going on there. That beard helped get us to the promised land, folks. We can’t just let it disappear in a blur of camera flashes and hot blonde stylists.
World Series ring (to add to the one he got with Florida)
ALCS MVP Award
Face on a box of Wheaties
Picture on the cover of SI’s World Series Issue
The ability to see Leeann Tweeden on TV and turn to his buddies and say, “Yeah, I hit that.”
2007 AL Cy Young
Knowledge that his name, when spoken, means “yes, yes” in Spanish
Edge: Commander Kick-Ass.
(Top photo of Youk from the Boston Herald; bottom photo from MLB.com.)