First things first, could we please get some props for those dudes who constructed their own Papel-Bot marionette last night, complete with moving legs for instant “Riverdance” action? As we speak, there are kids wasting precious time in shop classes making bird houses and end tables and beat-down sticks, but what’s the real value? Get those kids collaborating on a full line of Red Sox-themed signs and puppets, though, and I guarantee you’ll cut juvenile delinquency in half. Who’s got time for mugging the elderly when there are wooden David Ortiz figures to be carved?
Anyway, after Wednesday’s routing, Game Two was a welcome return to the pacing, stomping, holy-crap-we’re-leaving-too-many-guys-on-base kinda games I love, packed with all sorts of drama. You had Curt Schilling, who looked remarkably weathered in that first inning but then strapped on some extra awesome for the homestretch, holding the Rockies to one run and four hits over five and 1/3 innings, and giving us the cap-off salute as he ambled back to the dugout. Then the combination of Okajima — who looked absolutely untouchable — and Papelbon, who blanked the Rockies the rest of the way. In fact, I kinda got the feeling that the Pap puppet could have taken the mound and stifled Colorado… things are just going that well for us.
Mike Lowell gets the gold star and double hookers, however, for making an error that lead to a run in the first, then seemingly doing everything in his power to get that run back, scratching his way to third on a Drew hit in the fourth and eventually scoring, and then nailing the go-ahead run with a double of his own in the fifth. If this guy ends up playing third base for the Yankees next year, a little piece of me is going to curl up and die.
And as if the Sox haven’t already given us enough with their come-from-behind victories, interpretive dance moves and best-in-class beards, Jacoby Ellsbury earned everyone in America a free taco by stealing second base. And they have the balls to call the Atlanta Braves “America’s team”? People of America, I ask you, when’s the last time Andruw Jones hooked you up with a free taco? That’d be never, folks. But the Red Sox are bringing you lunch for free.
You can thank Jacoby during the victory parade.