What isn’t wrong with it? Just being that close to Bernie and Phyll – and I still have no idea which is which – would probably cause me to have a seizure. And is Timmy serious with that shirt? Or should I call it a blouse? The only thing that could make it worse is if Bob (of Bob’s Discount Furniture fame) jumped into the frame and started humping Wake’s leg while the Foxwoods guy sat in the background snapping his fingers.

Time for some baseball. Steve Trachsel is no Eric Bedard so I’m looking for nine innings of ass-kicking. How about a little Papi and Manny back-to-back jacks? A little bat-flipping and long-ball-admiring. Which usually leads to bean ball and bench clearing, but I’m OK with that.

Everyone in the stands should wear official 1960-issue Gagne glasses to the game tonight.

Play Ball!