As I see it, there are only three occasions that Eric Gagne should be allowed back on the mound for the Sox:

1) Everyone else suddenly dies.

2) Rudy Seanez, Lou Diamond Philips and the guy who played “Boss Hog” on The Dukes of Hazzard — all far superior choices — are unavailable.

3) The Sox have already won Game Seven of the 2007 World Series, and Gagne just wants to stand on the mound so he can pose for a few pictures for his Uncle Nate.

Seriously, how many more blown leads and turgid performances until we just fit him for a vendor apron and set him loose in the Bleachers with a box of frankfurters?

Also, nice call, Ass Clown.