1) Everyone else suddenly dies.
2) Rudy Seanez, Lou Diamond Philips and the guy who played “Boss Hog” on The Dukes of Hazzard — all far superior choices — are unavailable.
3) The Sox have already won Game Seven of the 2007 World Series, and Gagne just wants to stand on the mound so he can pose for a few pictures for his Uncle Nate.
Seriously, how many more blown leads and turgid performances until we just fit him for a vendor apron and set him loose in the Bleachers with a box of frankfurters?
Also, nice call, Ass Clown.