…because all this news coming out of the Bronx after each Clemens meltdown is simply too priceless. Like this awesome bit from Yahoo! Sports that comes after The Rocket got booed off the mound in New York yesterday:

The ultimate power pitcher – the man lured out of retirement to work four months for around $20 million – just isn’t overpowering anymore.

If the Yankees want to make any kind of a run in the postseason – they’re three games behind Cleveland for the wild card – they have to swallow the fact that Clemens, now 44, can’t be a No. 1 starter. Or a No. 2. Or a No. 3.

In quality, he is a No. 4, his 3-5 record and almost-MLB-average ERA saying as much, and should Phil Hughes return this week to the no-hit form he flashed before landing on the disabled list, it’s conceivable that Clemens could be left out of the Yankees’ postseason rotation altogether.

OK, so that’s a stretch. Not even George Steinbrenner would tolerate a $20 million-a-year setup man. For a three-game series, the Yankees probably would trot out Chien-Ming Wang, Andy Pettitte and Clemens.

Though if Clemens continues to struggle, Mike Mussina pitches as he has since June 7 (three earned runs or less in nine of 10 starts) and Hughes plays phenom, would they start Clemens on principle?

Not if the Yankees are serious about their postseason aspirations, no matter how hard a $20 million bullet is to bite.

God, outside of that thing with me and Tina Cervasio and a swimming pool filled with sliced peaches, I don’t ask for much. Please, please, please keep Clemens healthy enough to pitch for the rest of the season. Because stories like these are good for my soul. Also, pretty f#cking hilarious.

And Johnny Damon’s upset, too? What the hell is this? Christmas?