First things first: I must confess that I didn’t watch last night’s game, haven’t checked the box scores or newspaper sites or the comments section from yesterday’s post, and am now taking in the replay on NESN’s Breakfast With the Sox as I simultaneously type this and tear through another box of Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter cereal. So it’s all new to me, people, and I have no idea how it’s gonna end (yes, I’ve even blocked the “score scrawl” at the bottom of the TV screen with an elaborate cardboard construction).

In the meantime, to commemorate the conclusion of the Yankees/Blue Jays mash-up, I wanted to present the holy grail of Roger ephemera: A Zest Soap commercial from 1986. Watch in horror as the Rocket lip-synchs his way through this abomination.

Thanks to Eric Wilbur for digging up this gem, which, to me, is the holy grail of commercials featuring Red Sox players. The other is an anti-smoking spot that featured Pedro Martinez and an unusually wooden — even for him — Dan Duquette joining forces to warn Little Leaguers about the dangers of tobacco. It included an Emmy-worthy turn by Petey, who gave a look of horror upon finding a pack of smokes in a kid’s back pocket, saying “What’s with these? Do these make you cool?” or something similar.

My life’s obsession has been re-finding these commercials. Thanks to EW, I can cross one of them off the list.