Timmy Wakefield’s like that crazy girl you dated in college. One night, she’s all over your best friend, dirty dancing with your uncle Pete and doing body shots with the lacrosse team and you just swear you’ve had enough, and that’s the end. But then the next day she comes ’round with a basket of flowers and six-pack of Strohs and those wide, happy eyes and you find yourself falling all over again. One day it’s heaven, the next day it’s thirty lashes to your naked ass. You learn to live with it, and off you go.
Right now, almost halfway through August, Shakey Wakey’s got one more win than Matsuzaka and has eaten up more innings than Josh Beckett. If you told me this back in May, I’d have patted you down for hallucinogens. But as his 14-10 record indicates, he’s either on or he’s way, way off, and you never quite know how it’s gonna go down until he throws those first few pitches. Every Wake start is an event — an exercise in horror or, like last night, starry-eyed bewilderment.
Last night’s win was desperately needed for many reasons: First, the Yanks continue their advance, and you can’t let them gain ground on us when we’re playing the mutherflippin’ Devil Rays. Secondly, we’ve got to start silencing those critics who are salivating at the prospect of a full-on Sox collapse. This bit from Anaheim’s Gary Matthews, dissing Sox fans, is my favorite:
“They’re loud, they’re drunk, they’re obnoxious,” Matthews told a cluster of reporters, according to Mike DiGiovanna of the Los Angeles Times.
“They’re one of the few places you’ll hear racial comments . . . it’s just different.”
Matthews, who actually said he enjoyed playing in Boston and was smiling through much of his riff, was responding to a question about why the Angels have fared so poorly on their visits here. Since May 18, 2003, the Angels are 4-15 at Fenway.
“It’s different from New York,” said Matthews. “Yankee fans are passionate about their teams, but they’re a little more couth. They have a little more class than Boston fans. At least in New York they appreciate guys who play the game hard and play the game right and they let you know it.
And just in case you missed it, that’s right, he said, “Yankee fans are passionate about their teams, but they’re a little more couth.”
Suddenly, I can’t wait for Anaheim to come to Fenway. We’ll have those crumpets ready for ya, Gary.