Mike Lowell. Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico. I did not know that.

Anyway, Mr. Lowell would like to remind you — yes, you — that the Sox will be playing the Devil Rays at 1:05pm, Wakefield Standard Time. So go out and get your f–king beer and chips and battery-operated Phil Plantier, and we can get down to business.

Also, happy Fourth. Don’t shoot nobody.