When the umps missed that call on the J.D. Drew homer in the first inning, I had a picture in my mind of how this one was gonna turn out. And that picture was Ozzie Guillen sitting bare-assed on the Fenway mound while Terry Francona made him waffles (hell, don’t ask me what it means, either. It’s late, people.).

But then Beckett and the Bats (not to be confused with the ’60s supergroup of the same name) took over. And suddenly everything was going our way.

We are through the looking glass, people. Julio Lugo has one of the hottest bats in the line-up. Suddenly, I can’t wait for Coco to get up to the plate. Mike Timlin is coming in, getting motherf-ckers out, then sitting his ass on the bench, wondering who he’s going to kill next.

It was the just the sort of game I needed. And I thank them for that.

The only blemish? Ortizzle’s horrific, headfirst slide into second base, on which he strained his left shoulder while sending all of Red Sox Nation to heart attacks. Wanna watch it? Well here you go:

The Teez may miss tomorrow’s game. But Tito expects him back on Sunday.

We’re back at 3:55pm for Danks and Gabbard, Attorneys at Law.