Forget the lipstick, the pouting, the cheap shots, the perfect hair, the crazy wife, the hair care products, the elbow to Pedroia, the natty suits and ties, the arm raising and the distracting opposing fielders by shouting “mine!” If Alex Rodriguez opts out of his contract, would you want to see him on the Boston Red Sox?

Art Matone of the ProJo responds with a hearty f–k yeah, suggesting that A-Rod could put up savage numbers at Fenway.

“I would be stunned if he didn’t opt out … Scott Boras sees the biggest pot of gold ever at the end of this rainbow, and he’s not going to get it if he doesn’t get a bidding war going. There are a lot of well-heeled teams lining up for this guy — the Angels; the Red Sox will be in this, you know they will; the Giants. … The criticism is all nonsense; this guy is the best player in baseball. If he came to Fenway Park — I’ve been saying this forever — he’d hit 60, 70 home runs a year for the next couple of years … He would be an offensive force almost unlike any other at Fenway Park. The Red Sox should break the bank for this guy.”

Listen, I’d be totally down for those 60-70 home runs each season. But after the debacle that was the 2003 attempt to bring A-Rod here — not to mention the lingering memories of SlapGate — I gotta believe we’d see Jim Nabors in a Red Sox uniform before Alex Rodriguez. Hell, I’d almost rather have Jim Nabors, especially if he could bust with a little “Christmas Eve in My Hometown” between innings. Could you put the past behind you to warm to the feeling of seeing “the best player in baseball” in Boston?