Next, hotness and the Red Sox prevail once again in Arizona, with a key tenth-inning sac fly by Billy Two-Bags himself, Mike Lowell. But through the first five, this one looked like it was gonna be another exercise in frustration — the absolute rig-up-a-machine-to-kick-yourself-in-the-nuts moment coming when Julio Lugo grounded out weakly with the bases loaded to end the second inning. Then, in the top of the fifth, with anger in his heart, revenge on his mind, and Tavarez sitting at first base… he grounds into a double play. Christalmighty is he killing us with the bat. I thought — or let me say hoped — that after Friday’s leadoff homerun, the guy might have found some sort of groove (assuming he does, in fact, get in these from time-to-time). But with another 0-fer-4 showing, it’s clear he’s moved back to Sh-tsville, batting a measly .214 — reprehensible for a leadoff hitter. Especially one who’s replacing one of the best defensive shortstops the Sox have ever had because he allegedly brings greater returns at the plate.
But it’s all just window dressing, really, for this afternoon’s throw-down between Daisuke and The Big Ugly. And because it’s in a National League park, Matsuzaka will have to take his bat — and, let’s face it, his life — in hand to step in against Crazy Johnson. Is this really a chance we want to be taking? Can’t they put a ringer up there just to keep their $100 million dollar investment safe? Throw a goddam uniform on the translator fer chrissakes.
Then, after the game, we can all tune in to see Tony get whacked. I mean, that’s really how it has to end, right?
Last, a minor gripe for the good folks at NESN: Why can’t you run SportsDesk for, say, an additional hour on Sunday mornings? If I decide to have those six extra Heinekens to close out Saturday night, chances are my head isn’t coming off the pillow (or the floor or the trunk of my car) anytime before 9:00am. But by that magic hour, NESN’s already showing commercials for the Ab-Lounger or the Ronco Pocket Republican. Are the station’s finances that bad that you can’t stave off the infomercials for just an hour? Seriously, this lack of Sunday morning programming is disturbing to me. Even if you just wanna loop tape of Julian Tavarez f–king around with Yankees fans, I’m down.