Okay guys, time to stop screwing around. I know you’re not used to being in this position – up by nine games in early June – but you do want to stay there, right? I know there are a bunch of freaks that want the Yankees to “make it a race,” but I ain’t one of ‘em. I want the division locked up by July 4th. And, and I want anyone wearing pinstripes to hide their face in shame as their team slips to 20 games out.

The last few games have, in a word, sucked. Knock that sh*t off and start swinging some big bats. And Wakey, remember about three starts ago when your ERA was two-point-something? We need a little more of that. Starting tonight.

Foot on the throat – do not remove until October. Get it?