See, this is what you have to do to your opponents when they’re on the ropes. Crush. Maim. Taunt. Slap them around like raw steaks because you never know when you’ll get this close to taste their blood again. Oh, and would someone please give Lyle Overbay one to the onions before we skip town?

On paper, I fancied the Blue Jays to make the AL East race a little more interesting. I may have grossly overrated them. Of course, when your bazillion dollar closer goes tits up, there’s very little you can do about it. I mean, you can lie. But still. Seems not even Slash mojo can save them now.

Anyway, a maginficent win. More hits for Pedroia. Home runs for Lugo, Papi, Scenic Lowell and Manny. And a sweet performance from Matsuzaka, who avoided the “bad inning disease” that’s plagued his last few starts.

Speaking of Manny, I was totally asleep at the wheel on his Quest for the 500 Club. With 476 home runs, there’s no way he doesn’t belt number 500 this season. Twenty-four more home runs? The man could do that in his sleep, hands tied, feet greased and his nuts in the sno-cone machine. So the 500 watch begins… now.

Tonight, we have not-so-shakey Wakey versus Roy Halladay. Holla!

Oh, and, uh. This.