Bitches, listen. Did you really think it was over? Were you so foolhardy that you stocked up on Cristal and typed up invites to your Yankees elimination party? I know you know better.
You’re not going to win them all and the Yankees aren’t going to finish in the cellar of the AL East and Joe Torre isn’t going to get fired and Cameron Diaz isn’t going to “accidentally” mistake your face for a rocking chair. No matter how much you pray to the Gods of Baseball or how many candles you light around your commemorative Curt Leskanic action figures, nothing is going to come easy. Because it never does. And you’re old enough to know that.
When you lose a game like last night’s, specific concerns become more painfully apparent. Take Manny, for example. You know that the guy’s going to start hitting the ball at some point; you’re just not quite sure when it’s going to happen. And damned if you’re not staring to get a bit impatient. Or J.D. Drew. At the start of the season, I’m sure you’d have been happy to know that on this date, he’d have the same average as Manny Ramirez. But you probably wouldn’t have expected that average to be .244.
Nevertheless, this was a game that the Yankees absolutely, positively had to win. And they did. So now it’s important to get our collective cleats back on their throats. Because you don’t wake the sleeping giant and then give him a chance to grab his bag of pointy sticks or whiz all over your village, whatever the hell that means.
Tonight, we’ve got Tavarez versus Chandler Bing. There’s still a chance to take two of three here, people. While it won’t guarantee us the East, it’ll sure give us plenty to laugh about over Memorial Day weekend.