Dude. Seriously. Cut the hair. Don’t listen to Stephen Malkmus when he says “darling don’t you go and cut that hair” because, honestly, you need to. You’re a professional ball player fer chrissakes, not the bassist for Night Ranger. Look, there’s a reason Mike Timlin gives you the “crazy eye” and mutters things about “hippies invadin’ his game” and imagines you in his crosshairs everytime you step to the plate. It’s the hair. You know what they would have called you back in Ted Williams’ day? That’s right: “Dorothy Lamour.” Get yourself a one-two-three fade and let’s play some ball, motherflipper.

Update: Someone astutely pointed out that The Swish is, in fact, growing out his tresses for a worthy cause. So it’s only fair to withdraw my earlier rant, and give him the gladhand, as well as some props. Although I’m still pretty certain about the Ted Williams thing.

Okay, so. Back to the game. It’s almost frightening how, after a bizarre loss, everything slides so neatly back into place. Beckett is fulfilling all of our wildest dreams, becoming the anchor and sure thing we were yearning for back when his signing was announced. Okajima gives us another punch-out inning and picks up AL Rookie of the Month accolades (if someone told me back in March that he’d be getting it and not Daisuke, I’da told them to up the meds). And the offense, which couldn’t seem to buy its way into a run-scoring opportunity last night, went nuts with everyone — everyone! — getting a hit, including two apiece for Manny, Tek and Covelli, the guys we most want to see stocking up on ’em.

Tonight, we get a make-up game with Seattle with Matsuzaka on the hill, bright sun in the sky (at least for the first few innings), and the Sox holding the second best record in the American League. Yes, we have it good. But consider this: If it weren’t for the make-up game, we would have had to endure not one but two off-days this week. Two “sans Remy” days?!? Inexcusible, Major League Baseball. Inexcusible.