Well, at least Mike Timlin didn’t get killed.

Seriously. On that hearty cracker back to the mound off the bat of Gregggg Zaun, I thought for sure we were going to be seeing a Bryce Florie redux.

But Timlin, whose reflexes are no doubt razor sharp from keeping his neighborhood free of wild boar, feral cats and Danzig fans, snagged the line drive before it could do any damage. In fact, I almost expected him to give the ball a fierce look, take a bite out of it like a f–king apple, then hurl it into space, cursing its brethren. Because that’s the kind of sh-t I like to think Mike Timlin does all the time.

Other than that, this game was an absolute suckfest. A patchwork of missed opportunities, horrific plays and Wily Mo continuing to pick up his mail at the Mendoza line. Though I must say I’m enjoying Mirabelli v2007, and it’s nice to see Mike Lowell carry a little sumthin’ sumthin’ over from last night’s game.

Let’s hope the bats come alive tomorrow night. Julio Lugo, please straighten out your ass pronto!