Gotta come clean: Part of the joy of watching Red Sox baseball is watching Teets wangle back and forth on the bench, chewing that unholy concoction of gum, tabaccy, sunflower seeds, pork rinds, possum, and godknowswhatelse. But this year, the man claims to be cutting back, according to this bit at redsox.com:
Francona is determined not to lose his bet with Sox president Larry Lucchino, and stay off chewing tobacco for the rest of the season. If he is able to abstain, Lucchino will make a donation of $20,000 to Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. If Francona resumes his habit, he will be the one writing out the check for the same amount to a charity to be named later.
“If I had my, I don’t think ‘druthers’ is the right word, I’d rather be chewing,” Francona said. “I love it, but I’m not. That’s why I made the bet big enough. So I wouldn’t.
“I’m trying to give it up. I don’t want to start patting myself on the back yet. It’s only a month in. I needed to [quit]. It’s not a good habit. It’s a horrible habit, but one that I really love.”
My suggestion: A big steaming crate of pork chops. In the dugout. Every game.
Are you sh-tting me? Wily Mo would totally be down with that.