Screech made a sex tape! You know Screech? From Saved by the Bell? He made a sex tape! A tape! In which he’s having sex! With two women! Check it:

In a 42-second clip of the tape available on, Diamond narrates the “unbelievably graphic” action between himself and the two women, which, well, climaxes with Diamond engaging one of the participants in a sex act known as a “dirty Sanchez.”

The tape starts out with Diamond in a bathtub and a female voice informing him that “it’s recording.” By the end, Diamond is describing the scene in bleeped-out detail.

“Gentlemen, as always, I have gone above and beyond the call of duty,” he says on the video.

Also, Steve Brady is my hero. He knows why.