Kenny Rogers ain’t one of my favorite people. I’d almost rather be strapped down Clockwork Orange-style and forced to watch looping video of the other Kenny Rogers’ epic feature film Six Pack* than see Kenny the Smasher do well.

But last night, watching him tear through that Yankees line-up like Roger Ebert sucking up a 12-pack of Hostess Cupcakes as if by osmosis? Magical. Almost as much fun as seeing the Unit stroll off the mound in all his Carroll Spinney-like splendor, outpitched and outquaffed. And on the subject of lookalikes, Ross Grimsley doppelganger Filip Bondy has a great “morning after” take in today’s NY Daily News.

And now, by suppertime, we may be looking at an Oakland/Detroit ALCS. I’m down with it. ‘Specially if FOX Sports does up a series of cool promo ads featuring former Oakland batboy MC Hammer and The Pride of Detroit himself, Enimem.

I dunno. Call me a jerk, but something about seeing Mike Mussina — Matthew Perry’s stunt double — going ringless during his Yankees tenure is utterly exhilerating to me.

*A real movie! Co-starring Anthony Michael Hall!

And somewhere in the darkness, The Gambler, he broke even…
posted by Denton

Pitching wins in the playoffs. We hear it every year. Then we see the all-star line-up the Yankee machine has assembled, and we doubt it. Last night, we were proven wrong. Again. The 41-year-old Kenny Rogers, stepped back in time to pitch seven and two-thirds innings of shutout baseball against former team and offensive juggernaut, New York. Rogers, known by his fans for his 1994 perfect game, and known to everyone else for his run-in with a cameraman: “I wanted this game as much as I ever wanted any in my life.”

On the hill for the Yankees, the Big Unit went flaccid, giving up 5 earned in five and two-thirds. “I kept us in it for five innings,” he said. “At least I felt I did that.” Not enough, Doctor Ugly, not enough.

Let’s talk offense, shall we? The self-proclaimed greatest lead-off hitter in baseball: 0-for-4. The juice guys – Giambi: 0-for-4, Gary Sheffield: benched in favor of Bernie Williams, who was 0-for-3. And finally, the 25-million-dollar-man: 0-for-3, bringing his series average down to POINT ZERO NINE ONE.

Maybe I’m being petty for taking such glee in watching the Yankees (A-Rod in particular) fail? Fine, call me petty. The only thing better than watching the Yankees lose in the playoffs is watching the Red Sox win. We can’t have that this year, so I take what I can get. Plus, the losing keeps the Yankee fans from trolling SG.

This afternoon, Wright versus Bonderman. You’ve gotta give Bonderman the edge. My fondest memory of Wright is pitching against the Sox in Fenway in ’99, and shitting his pants under the pressure of 35,000 fans (me being one of them), chanting “JAAA-REEET, JAAA-REEET.”

Keep the faith.