Holy god. Not how we wanted to open the series, on the business end of an epic thumping.

But, of course, we had Johnson on the hill, so we weren’t expecting magic. And, again, His Johnsonness raised the suck factor, continuing his streak of not getting out of the first inning without giving up a run, and setting us on a course to nowhere. He was then promptly shown the door after being taken out, designated for assignment to make room for Foulke.

Lack of timely hitting didn’t help. A total of 22 men left on base throughout the game and ball-churning frustration at every turn (hey, just like my senior prom). Big ups to Eric Hinske for belting 3 doubles in his Red Sox debut. And a wooden spoon for Dr. Covelli, who went 0-for-5 in the top spot.

Break out the Strohs and sack up for the nite-cap. In J-Les we trust.