First, anyone who reads this blog regularly knows I loves me some Hazel Mae. She doesn’t come quite to the level of Kelly the Ball Girl — for whom I maintain what I like to call the “standing proposal of marriage” — but she’s certainly grown on me over the last couple years. I like the whole package: the hair, the eyes, the parabolically sublime melons. I even dig the way she doesn’t show a lot of ass, because we all know that what NESN needs is more ass; more people who aren’t named Tom Caron who are willing to show the camera a little backside love. But one thing’s gotta stop: That signature “buh-bye” accented with the exaggerated wave of her hand with which she closes each edition of Sports Desk. My God, I can just picture the cameramen grimacing throughout the taping, knowing that it’s coming soon, wondering if this, at last, will be the day she decides to put it to bed. If Caron decided to end each telecast by squeezing his onions and shouting “Hey, ya like CDs? Well see dese nuts?” at the camera, the Mayor himself would likely step in to put an end to it. We need a similar sort of intervention here. Please.
Second, enough with the interleague play.
Third, understand: Lenny DiNardo seems like a nice enough guy. He plays guitar, we think, because we’ve seen him at some of those Hot Stove concerts. He’s also quite a gamer, stepping up while we wait out the latest chapter in the David Wells saga. But for me, his every start is a bleeding ulcer waiting to happen, so I tend to drink prodigiously beforehand, allowing the sweet, sweet alcohol to rescue me from the pain.
Fourth, an interesting fact from today’s Globe: The Sox are hitting .274, the same average they had through May 18 last season. They’re averaging 5.4 runs, slightly below last season’s average (5.6), but have hit home runs at roughly the same pace (41 in 38 games this season, 45 in 40 games last season).
Lastly, sometimes I worry that we won’t see Coco Crisp in an actual game until the 2007 season. But that’s just crazy. Right?