Holy Jumping Crap! The Red Sox played their first grapefruit game last night! Among the highlights:

Coco Crisp, who will be hosting his own musical variety show on NESN before the 2006 season is out, goes 3-for-3 with a triple, double and single.

Papelbon gives up two runs on four hits and one walk in 1 2/3 innings. He also sends the entire Nation into cardiac arrest when he takes a Shannon Stewart line drive off the leg, missing his precious ankle by mere inches, not to mention the onions by a coupla feet.

The Graffer goes 0-for-3. Being The Graffer, he merely shakes it off. His pimp hand is strong, that Graffer.

Rudy Seanez gives up two home runs, which is two less than the number I thought he’d surrender.

Elsewhere, Nomar plays a “flawless” first base, and that Damon feller gets two hits.

I’ve been searching for video highlights, but have found none. Instead, please enjoy this clip of Paul Lynde and KISS.