Instructions for use:

1. Click here.

2. Select either of the two Remy clips.

3. Turn on speakers.

4. Bask in the calming yet commanding tenor of Jerry Remy. Give in to his subtle charms. Remind yourself that soon — very soon — he’ll be stopping by your house after dinner. Practically every night.

5. Turn off speakers. Shut down computer. Continue to pray for one more bat to be added to the order. Perhaps at, I dunno, first base.

6. Live Remishly.