Carelessly edited out of yesterday’s dramatic event…
Graham_of_Chelsea: Peter, any suggestions on how baseball can reel in the critical inner-city market?
PeterGammons: I’ve consulted with Bud on this many times, and it all comes down to this: tunics. Young people, especially those in tough urban environments, respect people who wear tunics. I don’t know this personally, but I’ve read studies to that effect. Anyway, if baseball is serious about courting its next geneation of paying customers, it has to begin with tunics. Also, a nice promotional video featuring Hank Blalock and Lil’ Wayne wouldn’t hurt.
CharlesinCharge: Hey Pete! I’m convinced my next door neighbor is a werewolf. Any ideas on how I can prove that he is?
PeterGammons: I’d start with something subtle. Invite him to your next cookout, and start talking about all the mauled pets being found throughout the neighborhood. If he starts shifting nervously or instantly changes the subject to last night’s Grey’s Anatomy, I’d suspect he’s hiding something. On the other hand, if he offers to start up a tactical neighborhood watch team, then he’s likely every bit as concerned as you are. Also, be sure your neighbor isn’t former major leaguer Gorman Thomas, because he gets that all the time.
ShootzHeScorez: Dude, what’s a good flick for getting my lady “in the mood.”
PeterGammons: You wanna go with something subtle. Keep the porn handy, but don’t bust with it right away. Start out with Pride of the Yankees — the “luckiest man alive” speech scene is the cinematic equivalent of Ecstasy — then perhaps ease into something fun like The Great Muppet Caper. If she’s not into felt, you might try Dave Hudgen’s Hitting for Excellence. She’ll get the point.
WingDing86: Herr Gammons, what might we expect at this year’s Hot Stove Cool Music event?
PeterGammons: Much of it is being kept under wraps, but I can say that Butch Stearns and Michael Felger will be performing a version of “My Humps” that can only be described as sublime.