“Actually, I think I’ve had enough of baseball. Thanks, though.”


Atlanta? You can send me to the moon, amigo. Anywhere I can escape the relentless booing of beer-soaked contractors from Southie.”


Oakland? At least it’s not f–kin’ Pittsburgh. Have they traded that Zito queen, yet?”


“The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise. Your species made a desert of it.”


“I have several new celebratory dance moves which I shall be unveiling upon my return to Boston: ‘The Conquering Hero,’ ‘The Monkey Lover’ and ‘Beating Dave Wallace to the Dessert Tray.’”


“‘The Monkey Lover’? What the f–k?!”


“Sorry. No offense intended.”


Shout outs to all my bitches. Derek and I send much love.”*


“Mr. Lucchino, Mr. Steinbrenner, feel free to open your wallets… now.”

*An interesting side-note to the Grady Little hiring… as several folks pointed out in yesterday’s comments, “Surviving Grady” got name-checked in at least a couple stories, including this AP bit on ESPN.com. We’ll be establishing our west coast office sometime this week. Seeking eager, young, blonde applicants. Just like Derek Lowe.