1. Now I’m starting to worry. They won’t really let him get away. Would they?

2. Okay, we all know Ugie Urbina is batshit loopers — kinda like MLB’s own Tony Montana — so it comes as little surprise that he’s been arrested again. What is surprising, however, is this news about the heir to the Rem Dawg kingdom getting pinched. Can’t you just see Lucchino’s press conference now? “We’re a little worried about the image the Remy family is projecting, so we’ll be replacing Jerry on the NESN telecasts with my nephew, Hiram.”

3. I covet my neighbor’s first baseman.