So the Yankees get to spray champagne in our house. Feh. We got the wild card last year, and things turned out pretty much okay as I recall.

My biggest gripe from yesterday’s game was that Tito didn’t follow the Wakefield “Five rule.” That rule dictates that when Timmy gives up five runs over one inning or across two consecutive innings, he’s gotta come out. No questions asked, just thanks for everything, and please enjoy your choice of meat from our postgame spread. I love Timmy dearly and can totally picture him walking around his neighborhood with a stethoscope and black bag, tending to sick dogs, cows and parakeets. But when he doesn’t have it, he tanks miserably, and this game was essentially out of reach by the second inning.

But it’s not so much what Tim didn’t do as what the Big Handsome did — shutting down our offense after a sketchy first couple innings. If we’re going to make it through the first round of playoffs, we’re gonna need to see a few more guys rise to the occasion. Last year, our line-up offered no safe haven for opposing pitchers. This year, well… if you can somehow navigate around Papi and Manny, you may well be able to hit cruise control. In fact, the line-up’s become a tad too predictable as I see it. Damon’s usually good to get on base, but then you’ve got Edgah, or, as I like to call him, “out number one.” Then you’ve got the Twin Towers — our best shot to put up a crooked number. After that, things seem to spiral. Millar, Mueller, Tek, El Graffanino, Nixon… despite a couple averages hovering near .290, none of these guys have been tearing it up with the stick. If they’ve been saving it up, stocking away those precious key hits so as to unleash them during the postseason, well that’s cool. But we’re gonna need them. Like now and shit.

To take things one step at a time, though, it’s probably best to focus on actually getting into the playoffs with a win today. I don’t want to back-door it through an Injuns loss, we’ve gotta see Curt step it up and shut ’em down.

Forward, march.