Several years ago, before he became known as a plagiarist and story-maker-upper, Mike Barnacle used to write a column for the Globe. When he couldn’t find a story to steal or make up anything racially motivated or heartwrenching enough for his column, he would write one entitled “I Was Just Thinking.” Since the game sucked out loud and I don’t want to write anything about it except I MISS OC and FOULKE SUCKS, I felt compelled to steal Barnacle’s title and bore you all with the miscellaneous crap that floats around in my head.

Jim Steinman is one of the best songwriters nobody ever heard of. He wrote everything on Bat out of Hell for Meatloaf. Steinman did put one album out (yeah, I said albums – they’re made out of vinyl and played on turntables, predecessor to 8-tracks, cassettes and CD’s – God, I’m old) which Meatloaf later recorded many of the songs for Bat out of Hell 2. “the angels had guitars even before they had wings”

Dead Poets Society is a great movie and Robin Williams is a great actor. Who would have thought Mork from Ork would ever become a legitimate actor?

My older brother used to have a can of Billy Beer sitting on his bookshelf. I used to wonder how the brother of the man elected to run the country could be such a backwards redneck. Today, I wonder the same thing, minus the brother part.

If you’ve never seen The Official Ninja Website before, take a few minutes to check it out. Funny stuff. Goofy and childish, but funny. “I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee).” That’s funny.

If you haven’t noticed, I kinda have “a thing” for Jennifer Love Hewitt. I call myself a fan, others use the word obsession. Semantics. Anyway, she’ll be back on a weekly series called “Ghost Whisperer.” I’ll have to clear my normally busy Friday nights for this.

I hate winter. I hate the cold. I hate the short days and the snow and slush and long commutes it causes. And it’s coming. Where did the summer go? But I do love the fall. Foliage, cool nights, fireplaces, Halloween, football, the World friggin’ Series. If we could only skip from say, the end of October, right to Christmas, then to the day pitchers and catchers report, that would work for me.

OK, back to the matter at hand. Two-and-a-half games is not enough. We need wins. To get those wins we need timely hitting, defense (you hear me Edgah?) and pitching. We need Wells to come up big, ya know, like someone was messin’ with his cake. I’m talking about a complete game. I’m talking about strikeouts, lots of ‘em. I’m talking about Wells plunking Hinske and seeing if Hinske has the sack to call him out like he did to Foulke. We need a statement game, we need glove sandwiches and weggies all around. We need Boomer.