Yesterday’s game proved one thing: the All Star break couldn’t come at a better time. The team looked flat, the line-up makeshift, and the bullpen horrible. Three days off is just what the doctor ordered.

Having the rare-of-late day game on Saturday does give one plenty of time to…ahhh…absorb the loss. For the first few innings, relaxing in front the TV with a few beers was working fine. Once Halama was brought in, it was straight to the Southern Comfort. By the time this thing wrapped up, I was mixing Nyquil and Robitussen for a late inning cocktail.

When I woke up around 11PM, or should I say “regained consciousness”, I felt like I’d slept with Big Papi’s sweat socks in my mouth while a band of mini-Reggaers used my head as a steel drum. Beneath the empty beer cans and cough syrup bottles, I found my game notes. Without further ado, I present the alcohol-inspired “insight” unedited.

Bill Mueller would have had Tejada’s bullet down the third-base line that resulted in a double.

Damon looked like Claudel Washington trying to track down a fly ball over his head.

Palmeiro homered? There’s a Viagra joke in there somewhere.

I hate Fox, I want Remy.

Damn you Baltimore center fielder! That was a homerun!

Big Papi applauds the catch – class act.

Who is Bruce Chen and why is he doing this to us?

Halama you suck!

Another SS error. Where is Spike Owen?

Inexplicably, I wander into non-game-related territory.

Curt Schilling likes Ford trucks. What kind of closer likes Ford Trucks? This ain’t gonna work.

Gabe is coming back!

Are Keith Foulke and John Valentin dating? Here is a summary of Friday’s WEEI interview;

Val: Keith, you are awesome.
Foulke: Well, you know, it’s one of those deals…
Val: Seriously, you are awesome.
Foulke: Yeah, that’s one of those deals…
Val: Have I mentioned how awesome you are?

Great f–king radio.

There you have it. The rest of the notes are not for public consumption and involve several well-known actresses.

Wakefield is the man.