Papi launches one to the sixth ring of Saturn. Wakefield gets his knuckle mojo on. Manny hands “Last Month Manny” his passport and suitcase and even gives the f–ker a ride to Logan, heralding the return of “Classic Manny.” Mirabelli snags his pitcher the lead with a three-run homer. And Johnny Damon busts with what has to be my favorite quote in some time, describing the players’ off-day activities:

“Guys heading off to other cities, no one has a clue where to find us,” he said with a wide smile. ”That’s how the Sox need to roll.”

Meanwhile, l’il Petey Martinez returns to the Bronx and beats the Yankees.

And this just in:

It’s going to hit 97 degrees in Boston today, the first of a string of swamp-ass days. But, man, it feels like I’m floating in a pool of iced Pabst Blue Ribbon.