Kenny Rogers is angry. I know this, because I saw videotape of him trying to rassle a balding cameraman about half his size. Then he went and gave the videocamera a couple good kicks, because it’s a videocamera, and it’s got to pay for its sins. Plus, it may have been in cahoots with those f–king Gatorade coolers that The K Man had to “straighten out” a couple days ago. Hey, if I recorded crap like “Planet Texas,” I guess I’d be pretty upset too.

Gary Sheffield is peeved as well. Seems someone mentioned that the Yanks were considering shipping him across town to the Mets for Mike Cameron. Shef says if that is the case, he’s “not going.” He also said “F–k Brian Cashman” and “Imma shoot someone in the foot.” Actually, he didn’t say either of those things. But I could imagine him saying them.

Me? I’m happy as hell. The Red Sox didn’t get swept by the Indians. Mirabelli and The Bell went back-to-back. Olerud [man, do I love watching him bat], Manny, Damon and trot each had two hits. And Wakey gave up five hits and two runs over seven innings. Johnny’s hitting streak is now at 16 games. And Mike Timlin got his first save since April 2004. And Schilling looked sharp in his PawSox start last night.

And how are we rewarded for all these positive vibes? An off day. Isn’t it time some enterprising young person developed Virtual Remy, which would allow me to enjoy the Dawg’s banter on nights when no game is scheduled?