Things sure are a little colder and darker down here. There are creepy skittering noises from the shadows, and a dank draft chills us to the bone. And what is that smell? Still, far below us sit the Devil Rays, and God only knows what it feels like to be down there. We don’t know, and we don’t care. We only look up. Just above us sit the Jays and the Yankees. And just a little further, Orioles. We know we’ll be coming for them, and so must they. Look at the Orioles, do they look comfortable up there? Sosa can’t get out of his own way and now one of their hottest pitchers, Bedard, is down with an injury. No, I don’t think they’re long for that top spot. And look at the Jays. Sure, today they’re all smug looking down at us. They know they put us here, but look in their eyes. See it? They know it won’t last. The others, they worry me a little. They have been down there with the Devil Rays, and whatever’s down there changed them. They’re back. And back with that swagger. Swatting homeruns, shutting down opposing hitters, closing out games with their old flourish. They’ve been there before, looking down at us. Christ, they’ve always been there. And just when they catch fire and we stumble, we must battle head to head. Roll out the cliches; gut-check time, see what this team is made of, whatever. We’ve been here before, we know what needs to be done. Most important, Tim Wakefield knows what needs to be done. We needs bats. We need Manny and Ortiz. Or maybe we need a new hero? John Olerud? We need wins, that much is sure. ‘Cause I don’t like it down here. And what is that smell?

A few quick things…

We received an e-mail last week from a Boston fan transplanted to Florida. He heard that during the May 9th broadcast, an explanation was given for the “Who Died And Made You Mark Bellhorn” t-shirt. I thought the only explanation was that Red found where his wife hid the Rumplemintz one morning. Did anybody hear anything?

Despite the risks, Red and I will be taking our act on the road and doing a few book signings. We’re hoping people might mistake us for Shaughnessy and Massarotti and actually buy the book. We will be at the Bellingham Barnes and Noble on Saturday, June 18th from 11AM until 1PM. This is the day before Father’s Day – what better last minute gift? Plus, I will be practicing a new hobby: mime, and Red has a Red Sox-Yankees puppet show planned. The “wearing nothing but my Red Sox” theme idea was canned.

We are trying to plan another event at a local Borders store. Available locations are; Chestnut Hill, Framingham, Shrewsbury, Marlboro, Methuen, Nashua, NH or Concord, NH. Drop us a line if you have the borderline-macabre desire to attend something like this.