In honor of tomorrow’s season opener against New York, won’t you all join me in a rousing chorus of the Red Sox-Yankees Fight Song [as originally performed by Al Jarreau].

Oh, we love our Red Sox
We love them, love them so.
And when the Yankees come to town
We pray to see them go
Go, go, go, go Red Sox
Knock their plums out with your knees
And give A-Rod
A little somethin’ somethin’
To take home to his sister
That f–king wench
Remember ol’ Don Zimmer?
Knock an old man on his ass
Yeah, that’s how we roll
Punk ass bitch gonna take you down
Man, I f–king hate the Yankees
Particular that Sheffield guy
What a cocksmoker
[flute solo]


Like the kid who couldn’t wait for Christmas, I sit and tap my fingers and stare at the clock on the wall and let the countdown in my mind begin.