So the Sox game is rained out. I’m thinking about what to write about, maybe drop a Henry Wadsworth Longfellow quote (into each life some rain must fall) and wax poetic about how an extra off day is a good thing considering our depleted starting pitching staff. I search my favorite internet haunts looking for a nice dreary picture of Fenway in the rain. Imagine my (surprise, disdain, disgust) when I found this…
On the same day we find out Curt Schilling will be sent to the DL with a bone bruise on his surgically repaired ankle, Shonda holds a news conference at Fenway introducing the “Bobble Ankle Doll” (bloody sock and all!) to Red Sox Nation. Ouch. But don’t fret, “a substantial amount of proceeds go to charity”… hmmm… I guess the rest of the proceeds help put groceries in the Schilling fridge?
What Schilling did in the playoffs last year was heroic in the context of sports. What he does to promote awareness and raise money for ALS research is admirable. But, and I know Schilling hero-worshippers and sycophants world-wide will be attacking me for this, the rest of the Schilling Show I could do without. The berating of the media, the constant exposure he uses to talk about all things Schilling, and now this? Give me a Tek or a Papi any day, who do their job on the field and let that say it all.
And it isn’t over. The crack investigative reporting staff at Surviving Grady have uncovered the next wave of the marketing steamroller that is Schilling Enterprises.
The Not-So-Newlyweds: A new reality show featuring Curt and Shonda as they make their way through their normal, average lives. Enjoy Curt and Shonda talking candidly about…Curt and Shonda, what else!
The Bobble Jaw Doll: You have the bobble head and the bobble ankle, now get the doll that most accurately represents the man, myth and legend. And it talks! You can ask the doll questions and get the pre-programmed responses;
On Lou Pinella: He’s an idiot!
On Butch Stearns: He’s an idiot!
On John Kruk: He’s an idiot!
And it doesn’t end with Schilling. Players throughout the league are jumping on the bobble bandwagon.
The Red Sox will hold another press conference today to introduce the “David Wells Bobble Beer Gut Doll” and the Mets are already producing the “Pedro Bobble Frayed-Rotator-Cuff Doll” for next season. The Cubs are scrambling to meet demand for the “Nomar Bobble Ball-Bag Doll” (thanks beautiful).
I’ll be off now, going into the witness protection program to protect myself from the skewering I’m about to get. But seriously, if anybody can defend the timing of this, I’d love to hear it.