El Guapo Found!

Ten days after his wife filed a missing persons report with police, former Red Sox pitcher Rich Garces returned home safely. No, he didn’t escape the clutches of an evil kidnapping plot, he apparently ran out of money at the Venezuela beach party he was attending. Garces admitted he “neglected to inform his wife of his plans”. I’m sure that was a warm welcome home.

The kidnapping story had a few holes to begin with. Rich Garces, to put it bluntly, is one big dude. If I’m a kidnapper, I go for an easier target. Second, the whole premise of a kidnapping is that there is someone out there that would actually pay money to get the person back. Finally, if the ransom process was dragged out, how does a kidnapper keep this guy fed? No doubt El Guapo can put away the groceries.

The idea of Rich Garces playing beach blanket bingo while enjoying a fine cigar is definitely easier to believe. A little beach volleyball, a few Coronas, a tasteful two-piece bathing suit, yeah, I can visualize that. I don’t want to, but I can.


Stealing a page from the Nomar Garciaparra book of dealing with off-season injuries, Balco Bonds decided to have knee surgery and is likely to miss most of spring training. Bonds had his other knee done in October – why wait until now for the second surgery? Here are a couple of hints from the article:

“It’s good for him not to wear himself out during spring training, which he does sometimes”

“Bonds often tires of the day-to-day grind of spring training, both mentally and physically”

“his rehabilitation might provide a respite”

Can you say “extended vacation”? He should have done it a couple weeks ago and gone down to rip it up in Venezuela with Garces.

Cubs Dump Sosa

The Cubs pick up second baseman Jerry Hairston and a couple of prospects, Baltimore gets Sosa and several wheelbarrows filled with cash. Hairston, a .260 hitter with 26 career homeruns, will hardly fill the offensive production the Cubs were getting out of Corkie Sosa. That’s where Jeromy Burnitz come in. The Cubs are nearing an agreement with the power-hitting lefty.

Baltimore will only be on the hook for $5 million of Sosa’s 2005 salary and will take over the 2006 option which has a $4.5 million buyout. The move gives the Orioles some power and may fill a few seats as well. Baltimore averaged just 70% capacity for home games last year. And of course, the deal leaves Red Sox fans with a very tough choice: taunt Sosa for steroids or corked bats?

Sox sign Tomori

Who? Why?