Just a couple off-topic notes on tonight’s Academy Awards ceremony:

1) If Morgan Freeman doesn’t win Best Supporting Actor, then I’m mailing someone in Hollywood fifteen gallons of urine. Not sure about the logistics of this, but trust me, Academy voters, I’ll figure it out. Freeman should have won for Street Smart and almost certainly should have won for The Shawshank Redemption. Christ, he even suffered through an hour with that shameless ballwasher James Lipton. Give him the bloody statue already and let’s move on.

2) Dear Members of the Academy: Remember how you guys dissed Al Pacino all those years, giving him nothing for brilliant work in Dog Day Afternoon and Serpico and The Godfather and Glengarry Glen Ross? And then finally awarding him for that blind veteran in Scent of a Woman –possibly the singularly most abrasive character ever realized on screen [and that includes "Ernest"]? You folks are famous for that, and if you give the award to Martin Scorsese for The Aviator, well, you’re f–king up the program yet again. Dudes, he got nothing for Goodfellas. Nothing for Raging Bull. Again, nothing for Goodfellas. All superior to The Aviator. Christ, After Hours was a better movie than The Aviator. Don’t perpetuate the idea that you’re a pack of 90 year old white guys who haven’t enjoyed a film since the last Andy Hardy flick. Give the award to Clint Eastwood and you’ll feel better about yourselves. And so will we.

::Gets off soapbox::